#promise I'll start talking about my au soon I just need to finish some stuff first | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

wonwoonlight · 2 years ago

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there’s not a single star in the sky | xu minghao & kim mingyu

➝ Minghao x Reader / Mingyu x Reader // not a love triangle

➝ soulmate!au // angst // somewhat slowburn // fluff in between? // a journey of acceptance and moving on

➝ total word count: 12k

➝ notes, warnings: my sorry attempt of an angst <//3, it doesn't end badly i promise, curses, food, mentions of death, OC is trying to hold back her tears for like.. 80% of the fic, probably some grammatical errors and typos, not beta-ed D: i purposefully write some stuff vaguely. that's it, tell me if there's more!

➝ summary: he’s your soulmate. so why did the universe also decide he’s not the one you’re going to spend your forever with?

or, alternatively:

Minghao was there to fill the space Mingyu left behind; but you'd never expected to what extent he was meant to do it for.

➝ A/N: it's late and i didn't mean this to be your bday fic but.. happy bday hao!! i'll shut up and say more at the end. pls enjoy and tell me what you thought!!

여기 이 세상이 아름다운 건 the reason why this word is beautiful

그대가 머문 흔적들 때문에 아마 is probably because it has traces of you [Jo Sungmo - Do You Know]

When you first met Minghao, he was there to be your roommate.

It's been months since Mingyu left, almost a year, really, and as much as it still hurts and the thought wells up tears in your eyes, Jeonghan is right when he said it's time you need to pick up the pieces broken by the love of your life.

–the first step being moving out of the place you had bought together with him. Saying it hurts is starting to get repetitive at this point, but it really does and you have no idea how many times you’ve broken down crying the more you pack, your eyes red beyond measure and your chest physically aches that it’s hard to breathe.

The apartment is practically empty except for the furniture, nothing inside screams you or Mingyu anymore except for one single photograph and it sends you into a spiral of sadness that you can’t comprehend how to handle. Your eyes wander to the empty wall on top of the TV, already rid of photographs Mingyu had taken and decided to frame because “angel, this is a masterpiece!” like he didn’t say it everytime he decided to frame more pictures and hang them on the walls (mostly of you both together).

You close your eyes and exhale a deep breath at the memories, hating the way your lips still tremble at the thought of him, then gently wipe the tears lining up your eyes before they turn into yet another waterfall.

There’s only one big picture left on the wall, a photograph of a daffodil field you both had gone to two years ago and is easily the most beautiful place you’ve ever stepped your feet on. You insisted that the picture stays though Jeonghan said it’d be better to take everything down. But as much as you know his memories hurt you, you don’t want to erase him just because you’re struggling; that picture is the one Mingyu loved the most and you think it’s only right to let it be.

So it can guard your home once you’re no longer there.

Kim Mingyu is still the most wonderful thing that has ever happened in your life and you want to keep his memories with you no matter what.

“When is your cousin moving in?” Jeonghan asks as you put the last of your belongings. Most of your stuff is already in your new place, and while you couldn’t bear to sell the apartment, you heard from your mom that your cousin is looking for a place in your area because she’s starting university soon; so she’s going to move in and rent your place at least until she finishes her study.

You’re not that close with her, but know her well enough to know that she’s nice and isn’t the type to mess around. Which is good, because if you’re close with her then you’d be finding reasons to visit just to be in the apartment. This way, you know your place will be in good hands and, for now, that’s the only thing you can ask for.

“In two weeks. She’ll start moving her stuff next week though.” It’s weird to be talking about someone else living in a place where your love bloomed, but it’s really for the best and you understand that it’s getting more unhealthy for you if you continue your way of living the way you do. Even one year is already pushing it.

“You’re still moving tomorrow though, right?” your best friend nudges you, and you nod as you try to shrug the weight lingering on your chest. Your silence concerns him despite your nod, so Jeonghan takes your hand and squeezes it lightly. “Do you want me to stay the night?”

“It’s okay, Han.” You smile weakly. As much as you want Jeonghan to hold you through the night because you know you’ll be crying, you want to spend your last night here by yourself. You want to cry one last time so you can let everything go. You want to bask in Mingyu’s memories, in his fading scent, and in the place where the love you shared with him grew the most.

And as you cry yourself to sleep that night in your empty bedroom, screaming for Mingyu’s name into your pillow again and again like it’d bring him back to you, you think you can feel his arms holding you once again the moment your consciousness gives up, almost like a dream you wish you never wake up from.

Your new roommate is perceptive and you’re not sure yet whether you like it or not.

“You look tired.” He smiles politely, though you can tell that the look in his eyes is closest to what you’d describe as pitiful.

Of course you look pitiful, you woke up with your head pounding due to your excessive crying the night before and you could barely open your eyes because of the very same reason.

“I was going to talk to you about rules and all that but I think that can wait.”

“Thank you,” you say without offering any reason, you don’t owe him any explanations anyway. “I just need some sleep though, can we talk about it later tonight?”

Minghao nods, the smile on his face so warm that your heart would probably skip a beat if not for your current predicament. You wince at the way your heart clenches, Mingyu’s name once again echoing in your head. Feeling heat creeping up against your neck, you reach up to touch the skin behind your ear, a habit you always do, something Mingyu teased you about since the time you went on your first date together.

Ah, fuck. You really should stop yourself from thinking about him too much.

“It must’ve been hard moving all that stuff. Have a good rest,” Minghao ushers you before you can say anything, which you thankfully nod at, and you immediately bolt to your new room before you embarrassingly cry in front of him out of nowhere.

You don’t need to know Minghao hears your cry because you didn’t close the door properly, his concerned eyes rooted to the floor as he closes the door for you, the soft click barely even a noise upon your heart silenced sobs.

It’s later that night that he sees you again, already fresh in new clothes and looking comparably better than earlier though your puffy eyes are a dead giveawa. Minghao has never been one to pry, but his heart is made to care for others and he’s trying hard not to ask if you’re okay, to pretend like the sound of you crying didn’t tug something in his heart.

Xu Minghao is born to care for those around him but he’s not sure why you crying hurts him this much when you’re practically a stranger renting the available room in his house.

“Want to order something?” He forces himself to say, wondering if he’s crossing any line; do you even have any intention to befriend him? He’s still not sure why you’re moving into his place, the most he has heard from you was you’re simply looking for a new environment, and Junhui, a mutual friend of the both of you, has only told him that you’re going through a lot so he might want to be careful overall.

When Minghao asks if there’s anything he should know out of concern, the older guy has simply said it’s not his story to tell and reminds him to be mindful if you’re ever visibly struggling in front of him.

“I was wondering what to eat for dinner. You can join me if you want. It’s okay if you don’t, though.”

Unexpectedly, you send a soft smile his way with a nod, then make your way to sit on the single sofa next to him and hug the cushion on your lap. “Sure. What’s good around here?”

“Mmm. What do you feel like eating?” He turns to look at you, only to find your fingers playing with the skin near your ear as you purse your lips in thought. It’s the first time he has the chance to actually look at you, and he scolds himself for being a teenager when it pops into his mind how soft your skin looks followed by the question of how it’d feel under his touch.

“Anything’s fine except for pasta.”

“You don’t like pasta?”

“I do. I think they’re too heavy if we eat them now though.”

Minghao hums in agreement, but you say he can order whatever he feels like eating because you can eat just about anything as long as it’s not too creamy at the moment. “Surprise me,” you tell him, your voice a little too cheerful for someone who was crying a few hours ago. He tries to get it off his mind though, because it’s none of his business and you’re not even friends yet at this point.

He doesn’t even know why it bothers him that much. Perhaps he’s been thinking about Junhui’s words too much, be careful and be mindful. As someone who’s used to catering to other’s feelings, Minghao finds it hard to stay still when he knows someone near him is struggling. It’s obvious from your body language though; the way you’re internally exhausted but are trying your best to look okay.

Maybe moving to his place is your first step to overcoming whatever you’re going through. Whatever it is, Minghao decides that’s where he should stop assuming and reminds himself once again that it’s none of his business.

“So,” he starts after ordering food. He figures he should at least talk about the house rules if there’s no other topic at hand. “I’m not very strict about rules, to be honest. Some of the rules I always tell people are just basic ones like: let me know if you’re going to have friends around, though I’m not too comfortable with anyone staying overnight, so just make sure to ask me first before you let anyone stay over; don’t be too loud; and let’s clean after ourselves? These apply to the both of us though, so I promise I’ll stand by them too.”

“Yeah, sure.” You nod in agreement. He’s right. Those are basic rules, he’s just asking you to have manners and be aware that you’re living with someone else. But you can tell from his first impression alone that Minghao is the kinda person that’s considerate and proper. He didn’t ask for anything too personal when he first met you to talk about your possible coliving situation, and it was easy to tell that Minghao was just looking for someone that’s…, well, also proper.

He was just the right amount of friendly. You didn’t talk with him for that long that day, but you could tell that you both passed each other’s vibe check and you were glad when Minghao called a week later to say you’re welcome to move in anytime the month after if you’re still looking for a place to stay.

“I don’t have that many friends so you don’t have to worry.”

He chuckles at that, glad that you’re comfortable enough to make a joke. "We'll get along just fine then."

The silence after that is a bit awkward, though it's not enough to make anyone uncomfortable. You wonder if you're simply imagining Minghao's extra careful words and gestures or if he’s simply that type of person to begin with.

He does seem the type to be certain with his lines.

"You're home a lot, then?" He tries to stay on the housing topic, a very safe topic that hopefully wouldn't cross any line.

“Yeah. I really mostly go out when my friends invite me or if I want to take a walk, else I’m basically holed up in my room.” You shrug then return the question, though from the few times you dropped by the house when you moved your things over you can already tell that Minghao is about the same.

“Mmm. I enjoy both my time inside and outside,” he purses his lips in thoughts, a tilt of his head accompanying his words. “Depends on the day, I think. Sometimes I actively try to find places to try out, sometimes I’m happy to be in my studio and paint for the whole day.”

“You paint?” Your tone is more excited than you intend it to be, though it really makes sense because you notice there are a lot of paintings throughout the living room. And now you wonder if those are his own paintings, which Minghao shyly nods to, the sheepish smile on his face growing the more you sing praises to his talent. “Wow. I’ve always wanted to paint, you know? But my hands are not made for art so…”

“That’s nonsense.” He frowns like your sentence personally offends him, his words bringing tears to your eyes before you even realize. “Art is for everyone. Have you actually tried painting?”

‘Angel, that is not a painting!’ Mingyu laughed with the entirety of his chest, not minding your pout even the tiniest bit. ‘That’s just doodles. Gosh, you’re so cute.’

‘I told you I didn’t want to do this!’ you whined as you tried to get away from his embrace. Seriously, this guy was a good 20cm taller than you and he liked to just bend down and bury his face onto your neck like it’s not physically uncomfortable for him to do so. ‘I’m not going to let you plan another date.’

Mingyu simply grinned and hugged you tighter at that, knowing full well that you didn’t mean any of it.

‘Art is for everyone though,’ he whispered with a laugh, his lips upon your cheek. ‘You did great. We should try watercoloring sometimes.’

“Did… I say something wrong?” Minghao’s worried voice brings you back to the present, and you blink back the tears before they actually fall down, your voice caught in your throat.

“No.” You clear your throat then excuse yourself to the bathroom in hope Minghao doesn’t notice anything. From the way he simply nods, you hope that’s the case, but the gentle eyes full of concern following you until the bathroom door closes certainly implies otherwise.

Minghao brushes the mark near his collarbone, its jet black color reminding him of things he’d rather not remember anymore. It used to be so vibrant with color, then they bleed out at once one day, turning into such a dark black it contrasts against his skin.

There’s something else Junhui said that has been bothering him, something that he thinks is the main reason why he’s more attentive to you than anything.

‘I can’t say much. But if there’s anyone who understands her struggle, it might be you. Just… don’t push her, yeah?’

He’s not sure how close you are exactly with Junhui. But if the older guy is able to say that, he supposes you’re either closer than he’s assumed, or you’re related in more ways that he could imagine. You did find out he had an available room from Junhui.

It doesn’t feel right to go through yours or Junhui’s social media just for the sake of it. But, from what he remembers, you definitely don’t appear enough on Junhui’s account for you to be in his close circle. Plus, if you’re actually close, the older guy would’ve probably brought you to hang out with him a long time ago; Junhui likes to blend all of his friends, after all. So you’re probably a friend of a friend, or there’s a situation that Junhui happens to know.

Whatever it is, it bothers him. Are you struggling like he was?

Minghao bites his lip and grazes his soulmate mark again, why is he talking like he’s over it now? As much as he’s coping, said that he’s okay now because that's all he’s managed to be, he’s still far from acceptance.

He’s still far from making peace with it.

His eyes flicker to you again as you return and sit back down on the sofa. You force a perfect smile, one that would fool anyone into thinking you’re actually fine. Not him though, because if there’s anything he recognizes, it’s the emptiness in your eyes despite the way they turn into crescents. He’s practiced the same exact smile way too many times not to recognize it on others.

If there’s anything Minghao knows, it’s the eyes of people who are hurting.

And if there’s anything else he understands, it’s that they don’t always want to talk about it. That everyone hangs on differently and he doesn’t know you well enough to know how you cope and how you hurt.

So he does what he usually do: offer comfort in the subtlest way possible by change the topic.

“But, then again, it’s not for everyone,” he shrugs almost nonchalantly. If anyone else is in the room, he’s sure they would notice the way he’s blatantly staring at you in worry. But, fortunately for Minghao, there’s no one and you’re too busy calming yourself down to notice. “What do you do in your spare time?”

“Actually,” you shake your head like you’ve made a resolve, like you didn’t even hear his question. Your voice falters a little as you say your next words, but Minghao listens attentively as he pretends not to notice the quiver in your gaze. “I would like to try painting. I did it a long time ago but… maybe it’s time to try doing it again.”

“You sure?” he questions, something weird stirring in his heart at how determined you look. It’s most likely the romantic side in him; he’s always liked seeing people doing their best. There’s just something so beautiful about people who try, and he supposes it’s the fact that he knows the look in your eyes, recognizes a similar kind of pain reflected in them, then knowing that you’re doing your best to be okay again.

It’s almost like he’s seeing himself a few months back (has it really not been a year since he’s started to learn how to accept?), and while his heart warms at the fact that you’re trying, it makes him wonder if this was how people felt when they saw him before.

“Yeah. I think it’d be fun,” you say vaguely, knowing that your tone itself sounds unsure. Still, you’re thankful that Minghao doesn’t say anything about it as he nods and says that he’d send you the address of a cafe that allows their customers to draw on a paper and turn the result into a keyring; that he thinks that would be casual enough for you to try and have fun because an actual painting studio might feel suffocating if you’re not into it

You falter at the mention of the familiar cafe, one that you haven’t gone to but remember Mingyu had mentioned before. You can probably still find its name and address somewhere on your phone, because Mingyu had insisted you make a list of places you should go together to, though you gave up updating it along the way

“It’s the one with a sloth mascot, isn’t it?”

“Oh, yeah. Have you been?” Minghao bites his lip at the slight tremble of your lip, did he say something wrong again?

“No, actually.” You force a small smile, one that looks sad, if anything, and Minghao’s heart is so close to breaking that it’s almost stupid. Why is he so emotional today? You’re just his new roommate, for God’s sake. “But I… I’ve heard of it, yeah.”

A heavy silence envelopes the room after that; you, deep in your mind, and Minghao, unsure what to say. Considering Junhui’s words and the way he sees himself in you, he dares to jump into conclusion and wonders what could possibly happen to your soulmate for you to be this way; to be constantly in and out of your memory in the span of thirty minutes he’s been talking with you.

Did they leave you like his soulmate did? He winces at the thought of her, the urge to reach for his mark makes his fingers ball into fists. But he waves it away and, thankfully, the bell rings indicating the arrival of your food.

Fortunately, the food is enough distraction for you two. You hum in delight once Minghao opens the packaging of the food, the smell filling the room immediately that your stomach growls a little. You’re both more hungry than you thought also, because the food is gone faster than the time it takes to arrive, and the both of you wish each other good night after cleaning up.

You’re not exactly sleepy, but you’re mentally drained and you’re afraid at how many times you almost poured your struggle to Minghao. You don’t like crying in front of anyone but Jeonghan, don’t like the feeling of anyone looking at you in pity or even concern. You really don’t.

But there’s something about Xu Minghao that makes you feel okay about being vulnerable; something about him that makes you want to open your heart and serve all its content on a platter for him to see. Or perhaps you’re just more emotional because you’ve officially moved out of your place and it’s your first day in your new home.

You hope that’s really the case.

Because the first scenario scares you a little too much.

You don’t want to feel that way.

So you spend your night talking with Jeonghan until you fall asleep, talking about nothing and everything so you wouldn’t think of Mingyu or how easy it is to be off guard in front of Minghao.

You tell Jeonghan you want to go to the sloth cafe and he offers to come with you, his voice wavering when you mention you want to try painting.

You dream of Mingyu in front of an easel that night, painting a field of yellow flowers with a smile on his face and the stars in his eyes.

“Oh, are you going somewhere?” Minghao asks when he sees you all dressed up on the sofa, though the way you’re slumped against it makes him doubt his question. “Or did you just come back?”

You scrunch your nose at the question, then sit up and hug the cushion against your chest. “I meant to go to the sloth cafe today. But Jeonghan is suddenly called for a work emergency, so…”

The words come out before he thinks it thoroughly, and Minghao almost hits himself in the head once they escape his lips. “I can go with you if you want?”

Unexpectedly, your face lights up as your eyes meet his, making him a little taken aback at the enthusiasm.

You really do want to go there, but the thought of going there by yourself scares you a little but you know that if you don’t go now when you’ve made up your mind, you’ll push it back over and over again until eventually you decide you’d just not go.

“Will you, really?��

“Sure, if you don’t mind going with me.” Minghao shrugs. It’s too late to back out and he’s glad if he could help you one way or another. It’s been quite some time since he visited that cafe and he doesn’t have anything to do, anyway. At your nod, he asks again. “When do you want to go?”

“I’m free the whole day, if you don’t mind going today…” You trail off, feeling a little awkward if you’re being completely honest. It’s been two weeks since you’ve moved in, and while you’ve passed the awkward phase, you’re still not there yet when it comes to favors.

“Let me change real quick then.” He definitely didn’t expect you to say yes when he offered, but now that you’ve asked him… Might as well, right?

The ride to the cafe isn’t as awkward as you suppose it would be, the radio filling in the silence between the two of you when you’re not talking. Minghao asks if you have anything in mind you want to draw already, and you say you actually have no idea, that you want to see if there are any easy examples you can follow because you’re not gifted enough to draw anything by yourself.

“What about you?”

“Hmm… Any requests?”

You laugh at this, and then hum to yourself to see if there’s anything you’d like to see. For a second, you wonder if you’re crossing the line by asking him to draw for you in a way, but if it’s Minghao himself who asks, it should be okay, right?

“Flowers?” Your voice falters as you think of the last dream you have of Mingyu. Yellow flowers, wasn’t it?

You hear his smile before you see it, and when you turn to him curiously, Minghao offers you a nod and asks again if you have any flowers you prefer. But you don’t really know your flowers, so you tell him you want to see anything vibrant, that it’s up to him whatever flower exactly.

“Vibrant, huh?” You wonder if you imagined the slight curt in his tone, but Minghao nods once again and says he’ll see what he can do.

“You don’t have to, though!” You say, suddenly conscious that you’re making him draw something for you.

“It’s okay. I didn’t know what to draw, anyway.” He grins to assure you, but you can tell that there’s something going on inside his head that you don’t dare to ask.

“Alright… But don’t feel bad if you want to draw something else, okay?” You manage to say, hoping that you don’t sound like you’re putting a distance between the two of you. Minghao changes the topic from then, and it’s not long until you find yourself arriving at the cafe.

It’s weird, what you’re feeling. You’re both afraid and excited, as art has always been something that you associate with Mingyu. You never do it with anyone else, or even by yourself, for that matter. Mingyu was the only reason you’re even interested in it, and you’re pretty sure you would never even try if it wasn’t for him.

And now you’re here. About to go to a cafe where you can draw at, a cafe you had promised Mingyu you’d go together with…

And now you’re here.

With someone else.

“Let’s go?” Minghao’s voice breaks you from your thoughts, something you’re incredibly thankful for because you’re just about to spiral into a hurricane of emotion otherwise.

Half an hour later, you find yourself sitting side by side with Minghao as the busy sound of the cafe fills the silence between you two. You straighten your back as you exhale a deep breath, the sound of it makes Minghao chuckle from beside you.

“What flower is that?” You glance at his drawing, intrigued by the amount of details Minghao pours into it despite not having any reference whatsoever. He’s drawing by memory, you assume, as you can’t see his phone anywhere near him, and now that you really look at his drawing, you think you’ve seen the flower before.

Minghao pauses before he answers you, his gaze fixated on the paper in front of him. “Forsythia.”

You hum as you take out your phone, looking up the flower to see pictures of them. It’s when you quietly mutter to yourself that Minghao turns to you, a small smile on his face as he sees you admire the flowers.

“You know them?”

You shake your head, then close your phone and return to the paper in front of you. You’ve drawn nothing but the night sky, poorly drawn hills, and a few street lamps along the street. It’s nowhere near good drawing, but at least you can tell for sure that those objects are identifiable and that’s enough win for you.

Like going here trying to draw.

Like going here without shedding a tear even though your lips trembled when you step into the cafe.

That’s enough win for now.

“Can I ask something?” his voice brings you out of your thoughts, and when you nod, his voice is hesitant despite your okay. “Why… is it so dark?”

“What is?”

“Your drawing.”

Huh. Is it?

“Is there any reason you’re not drawing the moon or stars?”

You blink at the question, then look again at the night sky you’ve been drawing the past thirty minutes. The constellation mark behind your ear suddenly stings a little; have you come to hate astronomical objects so much that you end up drawing nothing but the sky without even realizing?

“It just… didn’t occur to me.” You offer him a small smile, your colored pencil hovering upon the night sky. “I can’t draw them now though, can I?”

He hums as he skims your drawing, then his eyes glance at the pack of colored pencils next to you.

“Yeah. It’d be hard to draw the moon because you’ve colored most of the night sky.” He nods and smiles your way, one that you return with a tilt of your head. “It’s okay though. It’s still pretty as it is. Some nights we can’t see the stars and the moon anyway. Doesn’t really matter, right?”

…Doesn’t really matter, huh? You bite your lip as you ponder over his words, your mark feels like it’s tingling behind your ear.

“Can I ask something too?” You say after some time, eyes still focused on the flower he’s drawing.

“Sure.”

“I notice there are a lot of flowers in your paintings back home. Is there a reason why you like painting flowers so much?” His movement pauses at your question, and, for a second, you wonder if you’re intruding. But Minghao answers before you can retract your question, his hand moves again to fill in the color in the petal.

“It’s my soulmate mark.” His tone is much too nonchalant for such a topic, but as much as Minghao can tell you’re hurting by the look of your eyes, you can also tell he’s hiding by the tightness in his voice.

It’s very subtle, but from your point of view, it can’t be anymore obvious that Minghao is also struggling, presumably about something along the same line as you. Soulmate isn’t a sensitive topic for most people, but now that you’ve seen him this way, you can tell at once that you both share the same reluctance towards the issue.

At least it’s also clear that he’s coping far better than you are. Whatever’s happened between him and his soulmate, you hope it’s not as bad as what befell you.

“You wouldn’t know which one though,” he jokes to divert the topic. It’s more for your sake than it is for him, you feel like. He probably knows you’re not sure what to comment on that.

“I’m sure they’re pretty either way.” You comment vaguely, suddenly itching to touch the constellation behind your ear. You hesitate before you continue, unsure if it’s okay to bring it up again, but you also feel bad and you let your feelings override yourself for once. “I’m sorry I made you draw flowers.”

Minghao completely stops at that, and even though you’re not sure what you were expecting, you surely didn’t expect amusement clouding his face when you meet his gaze.

“Why are you sorry though?”

“Just felt like I needed to apologize.” You shrug, your voice gets gradually smaller as you continue. “Seems like it’s personal to you.”

“It’s fine. Like you said, I do paint a lot of flowers.” His smile is genuine, and you’re glad that he really does sound amused if anything.

Your conversation shifts from there, the two of you swift through light-hearted topics as you finish your drawings. You watch as the staff turn your drawing into an acrylic key ring, a happy smile on your face as you look at the result in your hand.

It’s definitely much better than you expected, and you think it’s good that you went with Minghao because, had it been Jeonghan, you would’ve cried thinking about Mingyu the whole time. You’re glad you went with your roommate, someone between a stranger and a friend, someone that you need to be careful with but close enough that it’s not uncomfortable.

“Yours is so pretty…” You mutter in fascination as you peek at Minghao’s, happy to take the key ring from him when he asks if you want to look closely.

“You can take it.” He says with the entirety of his heart, the grin on his face painted with pride. It’s one thing to have people sing praises to his work, but it’s another story altogether when he sees someone like you who looks at his creation like it’s the most precious thing you’ve ever laid your eyes on. When you ask if he’s sure you can have it like it doesn’t make sense for him to just give it away, he chuckles and nods. “You look like you’d appreciate it. That’s good enough for me.”

“Thank you!” You clutch the keyring between your palms, telling him you’d take good care of it. “I’d offer you mine but…”

“I’ll take it.” He offers you his palm, and then chuckles some more when you ask again if he’s sure about his choice. “You doubt me a lot, huh?”

“It’s just… Mine isn’t as pretty though.” You scrunch your nose as you hand him your result. Yes, it’s better than you expected, but still…

“I saw how much effort you put into that.” He begins, his thumb caressing your keyring. “And I did say it looks pretty, no? I wasn’t just saying it to make you feel better.”

Whispering a small thank you, Minghao almost laughs at how shy you look at his compliment. He looks at the keyring again, a picture of street lamps beneath the night sky. Then his mind pictures your focused frown when you were drawing them, and then to the conversation he had with you almost two weeks ago about this very cafe; how you were holding back tears and how you had reacted when he brought up the cafe.

And now here you are, talking animatedly about how the experience has been much more fun than you expected it to be. And even though he did catch you spacing out from time to time, he notices how determined you are from the beginning. Determined to do what, he can only guess.

He thinks he’ll think of you now everytime he looks at the night sky.

He gazes at the keyring yet again, and then at you next to him.

He thinks he has never seen an effort so beautiful.

Mingyu loved seeing you with your hair up; a pony tail, a bun, anything that let him see your whole face and didn’t cover your soulmate mark if only a little. The location of your soulmate mark doesn’t really allow you a lot of hairstyles that won’t cover it, but if you have your hair up, you’d at least be able to see half of the constellation that stops just a little below your ear.

That said, you wear your hair down most of the time after he’s left, having developed a habit of hiding the black constellation scattered there. The most you’d do to your hair is to tie half of it, which doesn't happen a lot.

“I have a question.” Minghao says as he pours your empty glass of wine once again. Minghao was chilling by himself when you returned from the convenience store, and when you saw the wine bottle on the coffee table, you had been quick to ask if you could join his little routine.

“Shoot.” Undeniably, you’ve gotten closer with him the past few months. You hadn’t expected to find a friend when you first moved in, but Minghao clicks with you in ways you haven’t really clicked with others that you can easily say he��s one of your close friends now.

It’s different, what you have with him.

Jeonghan is your voice of reason as much as he is the devil’s advocate; he’d push and push and push but he also knows when to pull you back when necessary. He cares for you like a best friend and an older brother, having his own way to change between the two roles accordingly.

You’re not the closest with Lisa. She’s not the kind of friend you’d look for first when you need someone to talk to, but you only have good memories with her since high school and it’s always laughter filling your cheeks everytime you meet up with her. You trust her when it comes to it, and she’s a token of happy memories you keep in your life.

Mingyu… Mingyu is–was your soulmate. He understood you without you saying anything, he knew when to leave you alone and when to coax you into telling him what’s bothering you. He spoiled you like there’s no tomorrow, listened when your rambling didn’t make any sense, and held you in his arms on nights you didn’t want to talk to anyone. He’s loud with his affection, never hesitated to show you his love even though he knew you’re never insecure when it came to that.

But Minghao… he observes and hypothesizes. He’s calculated and he’s silent with his concern. He doesn’t always ask when he thinks something might be up, simply leaves you be and you’d find a cup of iced chocolate or an ice cream with a note that lets you know they belong to you the next day. He pretends he doesn’t know you’re crying even though you’re sure you look like a mess, he’d just ask if you want to eat something or if he should just order online.

You don’t have a lot of friends, but from the few that you have, Minghao is the most like you.

And now that you think about it, you somehow gravitate towards those much different that you are; people who are loud in the best way possible. Which is why your friendship with Minghao feels different in ways that you can’t really describe.

“Why do you never tie your hair?” You have expected Minghao to ask this question sooner, if you’re being honest, as you’re sure that he’s noticed this since before. You’ve caught him eyeing your long hair from time to time, mostly when you two are out and it’s hot outside while you stubbornly let your hair down for the sake of covering your ear.

“Does it bother you?” You ask while sipping on your wine. It’s your fourth glass already, and even though you’re not usually a fan of alcohol, there would be days like this when you just feel like letting loose and crave for some.

Minghao shakes his head and changes the song playing in the background, finding something softer than the jazz instrument he played earlier. It’s another lazy Saturday night for the two of you, and between liking to stay at home and your somewhat similar personality, it’s really not surprising how easy it was to be close to Minghao in the span of five months.

How could you not when the two of you almost always spend your days together, even more your weekends? Jeonghan would join you from time to time, or he’d drag you out and there would be days when Minghao also tags along.

So, really, it’s safe to say you’re with Xu Minghao almost 70% of the time except for the time when you’re at work.

“Not really. Just wondering because it looks hot to go around like that all the time.”

You hum as you contemplate your next words. You could’ve just brushed it off like you always do when people ask, but a part of you has finally arrived at a place where it wants to let him know about Mingyu even only a little.

After all, there are days when you share your pain with him. None of you really talk about it, but you’d both vaguely mention about sad romance from time to time; enough for the two of you to be almost sure that, yes, there’s something wrong about the soulmate situations upon you both.

Perhaps it’s the alcohol in your system. Or perhaps it’s the dream you had of Mingyu last night, his fingers tucking your hair behind your ear and smiling at you like you’re the most beautiful thing he’d ever laid his eyes on.

That’s probably why you feel like drinking today.

While moving in with Minghao proves to be a good step towards moving, it doesn’t mean you’ve stopped crying when Mingyu appears in your dreams, which no longer happens quite often. There are still days when you’d read his old messages and stare at old pictures. When you’d open his Instagram account that’s no longer active and scroll through his aesthetically arranged feed.

It doesn’t hurt as much anymore, but you still get choked up for obvious reasons.

At least he no longer resides in your mind on a daily basis, though the thought also weighs like a boulder upon your heart.

You… want to move on from him, but you also don’t.

The amount of love you hold for Mingyu is more than you think possible, it’s overwhelming and it’s a burden at times. You didn’t think you could love someone like you did Mingyu, soulmate or not.

You don’t mind though. Even though the love is heavy and you don’t think you can ever love anyone–anything as much as you love Mingyu, you don’t mind and you still want to do it.

You still want to do it now even if he’s no longer with you. Even if his scent has completely faded from every single belonging of his that you bring with you to your new place.

The fact that you’re actually getting used to a life without him hurts.

It hurts almost as much as the day you lost him.

It hurts because you’re close to forgetting how he even sounded if not for the hoard of videos of him in your phone.

Aren’t you supposed to be together forever? To hold each other every night and spend the rest of your life basking in each other’s warmth?

Aren’t you supposed to be soulmates? What the fuck went up there that decided you’re not going to have a happy ending with your soulmate?

You want to be okay without him.

You don't want to be okay without him.

Minghao’s concerned voice brings you out of your trance, and it’s only when you taste something salty in your lips that you realize you’ve been crying.

For all the time Minghao pretends he’s never noticed you crying, this can’t be one of them. Not when your tears come out of nowhere when you were spacing out for a few seconds upon his question. And when he asks in a hushed whisper whether you want him to hold you, you don’t even answer as you dive straight to his embrace, your tears refusing to stop now that you’re in someone’s arms.

He doesn’t seem to mind though and, for some reason, the way his arms gently circle around you makes you cry even harder. It’s such a contrast with Mingyu’s tight embrace, he always made sure to hug you hard, something to remind you that he’s there and you have him with you.

Minghao's hold is careful but sure, the way he hugs you is almost ticklish, like you’d break if he hugs you just a little too tight. Except for the few times you fell asleep on his shoulder upon movie nights, this is the first time you’ve ever been this physically close with Minghao.

You end up telling a gist of Mingyu that night, tying up your hair to show him your soulmate mark. If Minghao’s surprised at its color, he doesn’t show it, and it’s you who gasp in shock when he tugs the neckline of his shirt to show you his own blackened soulmate mark near his collarbone.

IMinghao starts talking first, as he figures it might be easier for you if you know he’s been through something along the same line. He never really likes talking about his soulmate, doesn’t really have any reason to do so either. But looking at you like this, it’s the urge to comfort you that overrides his usual reluctance.

If his pain can be anything other than pain… if it can even help someone in some way, perhaps it’d be better to share the story he’s been holding to himself.

“She left me for someone else.” You want to wipe the weak smile off his face, want to tell him that he doesn’t have to act like he’s okay because you can’t even begin to imagine the amount of pain Minghao went through. “Said she found someone better and she doesn’t believe in soulmates. That we’re too different and believed the fact that we’re soulmates just proved that fate is nothing but stupid games.”

You know whatever words you offer him wouldn’t be enough.

You know.

You know because nothing anyone says would be enough to comfort you.

So you share him your pain, show him that he’s not alone and you know how it feels to be left behind.

The story you tell him is a very oversimplified version of the whole thing, that your soulmate is no longer with you and it’s still hard even though you’re coping. Though you do tell him that you did move into his house due to the same person.

Minghao’s gaze doesn’t falter as you tell him a very small part of your story, just enough to know you’re both hurting in the same way. That you’ve both lost the people who're supposed to be your destiny regardless of the reasons why. He doesn’t hesitate when he wipes your tears with his thumb, the look in his eyes is anything but pity.

Your lips still tremble despite your tears stopping, making it hard for you to continue talking even if you’re not sure how much you’re going to tell Minghao that night. But in a moment of weakness, your gaze falls to his lips the same time his eyes fall to yours. And when your eyes find each other a second later, you have no idea who makes the first move and how your lips end up upon his.

The kiss you share with him is soft; your lips upon his over and over again, your palms firmly planted on his shoulders as his stays on your waist. You have no idea either how long the kiss lasts for, but the kiss is sad as much as it is comforting, your fingers balling into fists as you grasp his shirt to get yourself together.

You wonder if Minghao can also taste the salty tears falling from your eyes upon his lips.

It’s him who pulls away first, and he doesn’t give you a chance to meet his eyes as he pushes you into the juncture of his neck and kisses the top of your head.

For the first time, Mingyu’s smile is sad when he appears in your dream.

He’s trying to tell you something, but there’s no sound coming out of his lips and your eyes are too blurry to make sense of his words. You’ve missed him so much, and you hate that he looks concerned when it’s been so long since you’ve dreamed of him.

You can still feel the fluttering warmth of Mingyu’s lips on your forehead when you wake up, only to find Minghao holding you to his chest as you both lay on the couch, his eyes closed and his protective arms firm around your figure.

You're not avoiding Minghao.

You've honestly just been plagued by the last dream you had of Mingyu that you’ve been a little dysfunctional for the past week. You haven’t got the chance to tell Jeonghan about the dream nor what went down that night, and you plan on telling him tonight in the comfort of your bedroom just in case you’d be crying again.

You’ve texted Minghao Jeonghan might be sleeping over that night, though he might also go home if he suddenly decides otherwise. You stare at your phone as you bite your lip, hating how you can even tell how awkward you two are even over texts.

[14:22] Hao, is it ok if Jeonghan stays the night? He might also suddenly decide to go home tho!!! I promise we’ll stay quiet

[18:45] Minghao 🍀: Sorry, I thought I replied already.

[18:46] Minghao 🍀: And sure. You know I don’t mind Jeonghan.

[18:46] Minghao 🍀: Thanks for the heads up.

Minghao doesn’t usually answer late, and it’s worrying you a little that it takes him almost four long hours to answer you. Isn’t he working from home today?

You really need to get back to your senses and fix whatever weird situation between you and your roommate. Though, truthfully, you know it’s just you making it weird because Minghao has been acting like usual. The smile he gave you when you both woke up in each other’s arms still haunts you among other things.

And while it’s true you’re not avoiding him, it’s also true you don’t know how to face him after that day.

“When’s Jeonghan picking you up?” Lisa snaps you out of your trance, sipping the last of her coffee. It’s been quite some time since you met up with her, and her text has come right when you need a happy distraction so you’re more than happy to accept the invitation and meet her after work, which is why your hang out with Jeonghan has been pushed accordingly.

It’s the weekend tomorrow, anyway.

“In a bit.” As usual, spending time with Lisa means having a good time. Usually, it’s followed by a good night sleep on your part, but as much as you love spending time with her, the thought of Mingyu, Minghao, and wanting to talk to Jeonghan about them clouds your mind to the point where you’re sure you won’t be having a good night sleep tonight. “He’s stuck in traffic.”

It’s about fifteen minutes later that Jeonghan comes in, and he sits down next to you to talk with Lisa for a bit before you part ways with her. You listen to him talk about work as he drives, offering your thoughts on the matters that you think would help.

When he pulls into Minghao's driveways you stop him from getting off the car, ripping the bandaid with one go because you don’t know how to do it otherwise.

“Me and Minghao kissed last week.”

Jeonghan looks at you wide-eyed, mouth opening and closing as he tries to find the right thing to say.

“Just telling you now because I… well, there’s a chance Minghao might catch it if I tell you later.”

He stares at you in what you’d describe as worry, but before you can ask him to explain, he grabs your hand and gives it a comforting squeeze. “But you’re okay?”

“Somewhat.” You squeeze his hand back. “I’ll tell you everything after dinner.”

Surprisingly, Junhui’s voice greets you the moment you open the door. He’s speaking Chinese, your mind registers, and if his tone indicates anything, he’s upset and he’s nagging. You don’t see Minghao anywhere though, and you find Junhui by himself in the kitchen, hanging up on whoever’s on the other line before he slips his phone back into his pocket.

“Jun?”

“Oh. Hi. Want some soup?” He says like it’s normal that he’s here cooking without the owner of the house.

“What are you doing?”

“Minghao’s down with a high fever.” He shakes his head as he stirs the soup in front of him. “He’s sleeping now.”

Minghao’s sick? Is that why you didn’t see him at all this morning? Why didn’t he tell you, though? You could’ve brought him something had you known.

“Can I… talk to you for a bit?” Junhui asks, his eyes flickering to Jeonghan behind you. The older guy seems to get the message, quickly leaving the kitchen and into the living room before you even answer. “Something happened between you and Hao, huh?”

For all it’s worth, you know Junhui has always been a protective friend. You’ve never been particularly close with him, but he’s close with Mingyu and you know what kinda person Junhui is courtesy of Mingyu’s words. He’s playful and he’s caring. Mingyu used to say Junhui isn’t the kind of person he would want to be enemies with, that he’s glad he’s friends with the older guy.

So to have him look at you with a piercing gaze, it’s hard for you not to deflate under his eyes.

“You don’t need to tell me anything. He didn’t either.” He starts, and then hesitates before he continues. “I… How are you?”

Your eyes prickle with tears at his question, because you know he’s not just asking about you in general. It’s there even if he doesn’t say it outright: how are you coping without Mingyu?

You try your best to blink the tears back, but fail when Junhui reaches out and pats your head. Your palm blocks the sob out of your mouth, and it’s when Junhui says his next words that your sobs turn into pathetic whimpers.

“Don’t think about it too much, okay? I know it’s hard without him. But if there’s anyone who can take care of you like he did… I’m sure he would’ve wanted you to take that chance.”

It’s hard to listen to him and not cry. Not when you know how close Junhui was with Mingyu. They’re not the bestest of friends, but were still close enough to spend nights drinking with each other to talk about life and the problems that came within.

Between all of Mingyu’s friends, you knew Junhui was one of the people he respected most.

“Mingyu used to say you always think about him before anything.” His voice trembles as he says it, and that’s when you realize you’ve only spoken about Mingyu once with him after the whole thing. As much as you’re hurting, you know they are too, to certain points. “But I think… I think it’s okay not to think of him first now. You don’t need to forget him. But try to think of yourself too, alright?”

You nod, not being able to say anything to that. While you haven’t actually dwelled on what you’re feeling for Minghao, it’s true that you’ve always stopped yourself from even thinking about it because of Mingyu. He’d come into your mind everytime Minghao does, and while it helps a little to know that at least you’ve both lost your soulmates, it’s still hard for you to think that you’d be replacing Mingyu somehow.

You don’t want to replace Mingyu.

You don’t want Minghao to be a rebound.

But is he, really?

“I’m not saying you have to decide now whether you want to give Minghao a try or not. But… you deserve another chance at happiness, okay? And whether it's with Minghao or not, I hope you'll take it when the chance presents itself to you.” He whispers softly.

It’d be a lie if you say you’ve never tried to think about Minghao in that light. Because you have, you have since that day you went to the cafe and drew with him. But Mingyu clouds your mind, and a part of you always feels like you’re betraying him and his memories if you even think about being with someone else.

“I promise Mingyu wouldn’t want you to hold yourself back from a chance of another happiness.” You cry harder at this, palm still covering your mouth to stop your sob from echoing throughout the house. “I know it’s still hard to accept that Mingyu is no longer here. I know, trust me, I do. I lost my little brother too that day, and if it’s hard for me as a friend, I can only imagine how hard it is for you who lost your soulmate. But you can’t trap yourself in his memories forever, right?”

It’s then that you cry, cry, and cry.

It’s one thing to think to yourself that you’ve lost him, that he’s not with you anymore and there’s nothing you can do about it. But it’s another to hear it from someone else’s mouth right in front of your face.

It reminds you of that night a year and a half ago in the hospital, the words ringing in your head over and over again until it’s the only thing that echoes in your mind.

Mingyu is gone.

He’s gone and he’s not coming back to you.

He can’t come back to you.

No matter how much you’ve cried into your pillow and cursed at the gods to bring him back to you, it’s nothing but a futile attempt because he’s not here.

He’s no longer in this world and your heart still aches everytime you think about the fact that he’s dead and you can’t see him anymore.

What’s the use of having a soulmate if he’s going to leave you first out of nowhere?

What’s the use of having a soulmate when you couldn’t even do anything to protect him from the accident that took his life?

What the fuck is the use of having a soulmate if you’re not going to end up together with him for the rest of your life?

It’s then that Jeonghan rushes to the kitchen, immediately kneeling beside you on the floor because you don’t have any energy to even stand on your feet at this point. You don't even realize you're wailing, your palm doing nothing to help stopping your broken cry.

Jeonghan can't hear anything but your sobs since earlier, but he knows your talk with Junhui is long overdue, which is why he’s been holding himself back from barging in even though he’s been worried. But how can he stay still if he's heard you let out a loud cry followed by a thud?

Junhui follows and kneels next to you, patting your head once again as he wipes your tears to no avail.

“Think about it… okay?”

You’re spacing out as you lean on Jeonghan’s shoulder when Junhui knocks on your door. You’ve spent the last hour telling your best friend everything, from the way you’ve been suppressing your thoughts about Minghao to the talk with Junhui earlier. In a true Jeonghan style, he has offered you a piece of his mind followed by saying he agrees with Junhui though he doesn't fail to remind you to take your time thinking about it.

“Do you mind taking care of Minghao or do you want me to stay over?” It’s almost ten in the evening, you look at the clock on your wall, and you suppose Junhui is trying to figure out if he should go home now or not. “He gets a little needy when he’s sick but doesn’t say anything.”

You look at Jeonghan for some reason, and when he offers you nothing but raised eyebrows, you turn to Junhui and say you’d take care of Minghao for him.

“You sure?” He asks one more time. “I can just stay over if you don’t want to.”

Junhui chooses those words for a reason. He didn’t ask if you can do it, he makes sure to let you know that it’s okay if you don’t want to.

But you do. As much as you’re conflicted, you can’t deny the worry bubbling in your chest the moment you heard Minghao’s down with fever to the point where it's hard for him to even get out of bed.

“I’ll take care of him.” You say with a determined nod, your arm squeezing Jeonghan’s for support.

“Then I’ll trust you with him.” You’re probably looking too much into it. You have no idea if Minghao has confided Junhui in what’s transpired between the two of you, but his words seem to mean more to you regardless of his real intention.

“I’ll take you home then.” Jeonghan surprises you both, patting your cheek before he gently lets go of you. “I don’t think it’s me you need to be with tonight.”

It’s silent once the two went home, and you’re left on your own in the living room. You try to think about your talk with the two men, but your head pounds a little from all the crying. Your eyes are probably puffy too, though at least they’re not red and you probably just need to drink some water to help your headache.

You close your eyes and exhale as you lean your head back against the sofa head. Has it really been one and a half year since you lost Mingyu?

It's funny, grieving. You never really get over it, and as much as you claim you're okay and you've accepted that he's no longer with you, you know you'd never entirely accept that deep down in your heart.

Some days Mingyu doesn't cross your mind at all. Some days you can suddenly cry in between conversations because his name rings across your head for no apparent reason.

Time seems to be too fast and too slow when it comes to memories of Mingyu. You never really thought about finding a new romance before, if only because you live in a world where soulmates exist and Mingyu took your heart with him the moment he left this world.

It must be some sort of twisted fate too for you to find Minghao, another shattered soul whose soulmate left him by choice. As much as it hurt you to lose Mingyu the way you did, you couldn’t imagine how Minghao picked up the pieces of his broken heart because the person who’s supposed to be his forever left him for selfish reasons.

You can’t imagine how his heart can still be as pure as it is with the pain it went through.

While you don’t know yet what exactly went down, what you know for sure is how beautiful of a person Minghao is. He probably knows you’re struggling since the beginning. He’s been considerate in more ways than you could’ve imagined, in his own soft, subtle way to the point where you didn’t realize he’s taking care of you.

It took you quite some time to realize, but it makes sense because you can recognize the pain that flashes through his eyes too from time to time. As two owners of broken fate, it’s not surprising that you recognize one another.

The sound of the door creaking brings you back from your head, and you see Minghao looking a little lost when the door opens, probably wondering why the house is dark and quiet.

“Why are you out of bed?” You scold him softly as you make your way to him. You usher him back to bed, but Minghao insists his body hurts from laying down too much and he needs to stretch a little.

So you make him sit on the sofa instead, which he whines at because it’s not that different, but his heart softens at your concerned whine so he decides entertaining you shouldn’t be too bad even if he feels like walking around the house.

“Drink some water.” You hand him his usual mug, then plops beside him as your palm automatically reaches for his forehead, cheek, and then neck. Minghao doesn’t say anything as he stares at you, though he shivers at your touch because your palm is cold when it meets his skin. “Your fever has gone down, I think."

“Were you worried?” his voice asks softly. Almost hopeful, even. None of you bothers to turn on the lights, though the light peeking from the kitchen helps just enough for you two to see each other albeit dimly.

You think Minghao might be a little delirious, but Junhui did say Minghao gets needy when he’s sick, so you do the least you can do and decide to throw away all of your thoughts for the night. What matters right now is that he’s sick and you want to take care of him.

“I was. Why didn’t you tell me you were sick?” It’s funny the way you’re both talking like it’s a secret. Your soft voices barely heard throughout the house even though it’s loud enough just for the two of you.

Minghao shrugs, not offering you any explanation. But you see it in his eyes, in the way he hesitates and shakes his head. He probably didn’t think it was okay to tell you.

“Tell me next time, okay? Though it would be better if you don’t get sick again.”

He hums and it’s silent after that. Minghao turns to the window, looking at the dark night outside. “Did Junhui go home?”

“Yeah. I told him I’d take care of you.”

“Did you?” His voice gets even softer when he says this, both hopeful and afraid. But before you can say anything, he cuts you off and asks again. “And Jeonghan?”

“Took Junhui home.” You pause before you continue. Is it a good time to bring it up now? Would it be better to do it when you’re both awake and well? Listen to your heart, okay? It’s okay to put your guard down sometimes. Jeonghan’s words from earlier ring in your head. “Said that it’s not him I need to be with tonight.”

If he’s surprised, Minghao doesn’t show it. But his stare seems to pierce through the dark and you can’t find it in you to look away. Mingyu appears once again in your mind, but you try your best to suppress the thought before you find yourself deep into it.

“Is there anyone you need to be with tonight?”

“Mmh. Maybe.” You try to be nonchalant, very conscious of the way your heart is beating loudly against your chest. You look out the window before you start talking again, a pensive look on your face as you contemplate your words. “It’s weirdly dark tonight, huh?”

Minghao follows your sight and nods, waiting for you to say more. You gather your hair and move them to your right shoulder, and from where he’s at, he can see the black stars peeking behind your left ear.

“It’s Cassiopeia, my mark.” You start, your eyes still locked on the night sky. “I tried looking them up once, but I suppose I’m not smart enough to actually understand the story. Mingyu did though, and he’d pop up a quiz from time to time to see if there’s anything I retain from all the time he babbled about our identical marks.”

He doesn’t know where you’re going with this, but his hand finds yours and he’s glad you don’t pull away, simply holds his hand tighter as if you’re looking for something to keep you going. His heart cracks at your weak smile, but he knows you have more to say and he’s more than willing to listen.

“I ended up liking them though; the celestial objects. The moon, the stars, planets, everything that’s up there in the sky. I found fascination in them and I’d find myself buying stuff with their patterns.”

Minghao can’t see you clearly because of the dark, but he imagines your eyes are watering up by the slight tremble of your voice.

“And then it stopped when Mingyu died. I don’t hate them, but it hurts to see them and… if you remember my drawing those months ago, I suppose that’s why my drawing was so dark even if I did it unconsciously.”

You pause to take a breath, your hand tightens around Minghao’s. “I think he took all the stars with him the night he left. That selfish jerk.”

His heart clenches painfully at your weak chuckle, at the way your hand reaches up to wipe your own tears, and at the way you take a deep breath in determination.

“But… But it’s okay even if we can’t see the stars, right?”

Minghao gapes at his own words from that day you drew together, words that he said without much thought but seems to hit you in ways that he would never imagine. He tightens his grip on you, and then pulls you to his shoulder before taking his turn to speak.

“You probably don’t recognize it. But forsythia is my soulmate mark.” He says as he caresses your knuckle, his mind taking him back to the exact day you referred to just seconds ago. “I knew it took a lot for you to be there. And even though I didn’t know exactly why, I could tell it was hard. But you pulled through and I thought I should do the same. So when you asked me to draw a flower, I knew I had to draw the most beautiful forsythia I could ever draw in my life.”

“I used to hate them, you know?” You can hear him smile even though you’re buried in his shoulder, his arm that has made its way around you pushes you more into himself. “But you saw that drawing like it’s the prettiest thing you’ve ever laid your eyes on. I didn’t think much of it at first, but I saw you carrying around that keyring everyday and it’s… something. I’ve heard a lot of people compliment my works, but I’ve never seen someone appreciate it as much as you do. It wasn’t intentional, but I think you helped me get through it without even meaning to.”

You pull away to look him in the eyes, and for someone who claims you don’t find beauty in stars anymore, you almost want to dive into Minghao’s eyes that seem to twinkle with all the stars Mingyu took with him.

“Do you know what forsythia symbolizes?” You know he’s not expecting you to actually know, so you shake your head and urge him to continue. “Anticipation, apparently. Because they bloom in spring and signal the beginning of one. I’d like to interpret it as the flower of a new beginning.”

You almost cry again at what it implies; at what it can imply not only for him but for the two of you. Is it too early to jump into that? Is it too fast? Weren’t you just crying about Mingyu hours ago?

“We don’t have to figure it out now.” His voice rings through the night, his fingers caress your arm to shield you from whatever’s in the dark of night. “The morning will come eventually even when the night is long, right?”

“Yeah.” You succumb into his embrace as you smile through your tears. But how can you not when Minghao says those words like Mingyu did many nights ago?

“Don’t think about it too much.” He kissed your cheek and hugged you close to his chest, to shut you up more than anything, really. “It’s not like the morning won’t come even if the night is a little too long. Focus on what you have in front of you, instead okay?”

“But what if–”

“No.” He cut you off, his palm covering your mouth as he laughed at your glare. “No what if. Let’s enjoy the night while we’re at it.”

“You sound stupid.” You rolled your eyes in mock annoyance despite the way your heart swelled in affection.

“You love me anyway.” He grinned cheekily, which you laughed at out of embarrassment because if there’s one thing you could never do, it’s to deny your love for him even jokingly.

“Hao?”

“Hm?”

“You’ll hold me through the night, right?”

He smiles like it’s not even a question, his fingers intertwining with yours as if to make a point.

“Yeah.”

“Even if it’s a long one?”

He clasps your hand tighter, his thumb caressing your knuckle.

“Yeah.”

A/N 2: hi!! it's been quite some time since i write anything along this genre. i've always wanted to write soulmate!au and while this isn't exactly heartfluttering like soulmate!au usually is, i hope you enjoyed it one way or another. this fic got longer than i originally planned, but i hope you guys enjoyed it and please do send me your thoughts through anything you're comfortable with. i know it sounds repetitive at this point, but it's truly your feedbacks that keep me goin<3

A/N 3: did any of u guessed gyu di*d btw

permanent taglist: @kyeomjjigae @stantrash171819 @sebongmochi @luveveryonewoo @thinkinboutwonu @kpopjackie @ursweetener @lavenderautumnx @itsveronicaxxx @shuahoshiscoups @sunshinein17 @leechanniee @twogyuu @hoe4wonwoo @h3h3tm0n @noraehey @seokshook @rubyhoons @02psh @just-here-to-read-01 @listxn @janandbeyond @pearlygraysky @baekhyunstruly

also tagging: @joonsytip

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that-crazy-five-foot-two-chick · 4 years ago

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Summary: Winry sat in the optimal place to study in the school cafe for the entire fall semester. Then spring came, and suddenly some self-entitled twit who dressed like off-brand Gerard Way decided it was his territory. He was so not going to get off easy.

Rating: T

Word Count: 1.8k words of coffee shop/college AU with a side of enemies to almost-lovers

A/N: It's finals week, I posted this on Ao3 at almost 5am, and if the rest of the sentence didn't make it obvious, I'm writing from unfortunate experience. Not beta-ed or proofread, although I happened to see one thing to fix when I woke up this morning. Feel my raw power. Rawr.

It wasn't that big a deal.

It kind of really was, though.

Every Thursday morning during the fall semester, Winry sat in the same spot at the same school coffee shop. It was the spot sent by the entire patron pantheon of cram papers. Maybe one person didn't need an entire booth, but it was in the corner, and the tops of the bench seats had opaque plastic barriers that just so happened to be perfect for minimizing excess visual chaos. For the most part, there weren't loud conversations, and the jazz music that came through the speakers helped her tune out people ordering coffee. Add to that the fact that she could use campus flex dollars and not her own bank account that was begging for mercy, and it was the perfect spot to get papers done.

But apparently not this spring.

As soon as Winry walked in, she noticed him in the corner. Some emo wannabe guy on his computer. Probably on Reddit complaining about how women didn't appreciate the amazing pics he sent them on Tinder. Or at least, it was a fair guess based on the sour look on his face. Why did this guy of all people have to steal the holy grail spot? Ugh. She was still gonna get her coffee, darn it.

"You know the deal, Sciezska. Medium roast with a shot of espresso and vanilla creamer."

"On it! You paying in flex?"

"Yeah." She scanned her student ID and lowered her voice. "Who's off-brand Gerard Way in the corner?"

"Who's Ger—"

"The punk kid."

"Ohhh. I can try to get his number for you, if you want."

"No, he looks like a total tool! And not the kind I like dealing with!"

"Which means you think he's hot. I didn't think you were into that type, but you're not wrong."

"For the last time, no, Sciezska! He took my spot! And I'm trying very, very hard to keep this to a stage whisper, but if you keep trying to set me up with some random creep, I won't be able to!"

A distinctly male voice grumbled, "I'm not a creep."

"Keep telling that to the girls on Tinder. I'm sure they'll understand eventually."

"Yeah, and I'll bet if you look at your 'Live, Laugh, Love' sign a little more, you'll understand it eventually." He mumbled something under his breath.

"What was that, Mr. Nice Guy?"

"Lay off, it's eight in the morning. I said the only reason I even have a Tinder account is because my roommate stole my phone while I was going to the bathroom."

"Well, if you didn't want it, why didn't you delete it?"

"Eh, I figured if I really got sick of being single one day, it'd already be there."

"Never would have guessed you were single," Winry said dryly.

"Come on, it's way too early to be rubbing that kind of crap in. Who says I'm not fine with being single anyway?"

Sciezska timidly spoke up. "Medium roast with espresso and vanilla creamer?"

Winry thanked her as red jacket boy continued. "'Edward Elric, Bachelor.' Almost sounds as good as 'Edward Elric, Bachelor of Science.'"

"B.S. degree. Sounds about right."

"About time you stopped acting like I'm an idiot!"

Winry snorted. "That's not what I meant."

"Hey!"

"And with that, I'm going to go find some other spot to write my paper."

Edward, as his name apparently was, scoffed and mumbled something that sounded like "good riddance". Maybe the librarians wouldn't get on her case too much for bringing in coffee.

-----

A week later, Winry walked into the cafe, assuming the circumstances of the previous week were an anomaly. They were not.

"Medium roast with a shot of espresso and vanilla creamer," she grumbled and sulked in the direction of the corner seat.

"Hey, don't start with me again, blondie. I've had a whopping four hours of sleep and I can't promise you'll like what comes out of my mouth."

"We're at a coffee shop. Get some coffee. I can't help it if you're too hung over to be polite."

"Now look, genius. I did not stay up until 4 A.M. working on a stupid chem paper for that sadistic pyromaniac excuse for a professor just for some random chick to accuse me of being hung over."

"Oh."

"Yeah. And for your information, coffee doesn't really help me wake up. It just helps me focus on homework." He lifted up his empty cup and gave it a shake.

"That's the weirdest thing I've ever heard."

"ADHD is a weird thing, and yet, here I am."

"Huh, interesting."

"Now if you'll excuse me, I'm going to pick up where I left off with the same stupid ten page paper I started last night."

"Oh right. Sure," Winry stammered. "Listen, I'm really sorry I just assumed things about you. It was wrong of me, and I'd like to make it up to you, if that's okay."

Edward eyed her suspiciously. "What do you have in mind?"

"Well...I could look over your paper once you're done writing it? I've got a paper of my own to write while I'm waiting, and I can sit right across the table here so you don't have to come get me. I won't try to talk to you or anything. Neither of us need that kind of distraction."

"Alright, alright. Get your coffee and sit down. The girl at the counter's been up there waiting for a good minute or two while you've been at confessional over here."

"Wait, she has?" Winry's eyes widened, and Edward laughed at her expense. He was kind of attractive when he wasn't scowling...wait what? She pouted and got up to retrieve her coffee. When Winry returned, she plopped down on the bench opposite Edward and opened her laptop. Peeking out from behind it, she added, "By the way, I'm Winry. I figured you ought to at least know the name of the person who's proofreading your paper."

"Well, Winry, you're the one who volunteered." The corners of his mouth twitched upward. The two worked on their assignments in silence, occasionally speaking up when necessary.

-----

Edward was in the corner again the next week as well.

"Hey, Edward! Mind if I join you for homework again?"

"Normally, I'd say no, but you didn't bother me too much last week, so you might as well." He turned away slightly.

"Great! Have you gotten your coffee yet? I didn't see a cup, and you got something the last two times."

"Eh, I haven't been here long. If you're going up and getting yours, would you mind ordering a caramel macchiato for me?" He asked, sliding his ID across the table.

"Yeah, no problem. I'll be back in a sec."

She returned and slipped his ID back before pulling out her computer. "Do you have anything for me to look over this time?"

"Not this week. But if you have anything you need looked over, I can do that, too."

"Actually, I do, if you wouldn't mind."

"Winry, I just volunteered. Just send the paper to my school email. Mine's 'elricedwa'," he instructed as he proceeded to spell it.

"Medium roast and a caramel macchiato?" Sciezska called out.

"Coming!" Winry replied and turned to Edward. "I just sent it, so you should be able to start while I'm getting our stuff." Eyes glued to his laptop, Edward gave a thumbs up.

Once she returned with their drinks, Winry sat down and wordlessly set Edward's drink next to him.

"Thanks," he muttered distantly. His lips mirrored the words he was reading. Though his lips weren't plump by any stretch of the imagination, they were shapely. His steely concentration made the air leave Winry's lungs. To top it all off, the first rays of sunlight came through the window just right, hitting Edward's hair in a way that made it positively glow.

What was she thinking? Those were only the sorts of things people thought when they had a crush. She'd only had two positive interactions with him, including this one. ...well, maybe it was a crush. She could certainly do worse than someone with a questionable fashion sense. After all, he worked hard, and he got good grades, if the quality of his writing was any indication. Okay, fine. He was also drop dead gorgeous, if you could see past his clothing choices. Yeah, she had a crush.

"Did you hear anything I just said?"

"...no."

"Figures. I finished reading your paper. It's not bad, I just left a few suggestions for sentence structure. Now I am going to enjoy my caramel macchiato." He took off the lid and breathed in the steam with his eyes closed, nearly drooping into the cup in content. When he opened his eyes slowly, Winry was awestruck by the similarity between the color of his eyes and his drink.

"What?" Edward furrowed his eyebrows.

"Nothing. I didn't say anything. At all. Nope."

"Okay." He shrugged. She reopened the document and went through his suggested edits. Gnawing her lip in concentration, she leaned forward a bit to settle in and tackle the editing.

"...hey, uh, Winry?" Edward gulped. "Are you going to drink your coffee?"

"Oh! Yeah, I almost forgot. Thanks, Edward!" she smiled.

"No–no problem. And you can call me Ed, you know. Most people do. Except for that excuse for a professor that calls me pipsqueak. Can you believe he's my advisor? I mean, come on, I'm a grown man. I'm not that short."

Winry made a poor attempt at containing her laughter. "Okay then, Ed. Prove it. Stand up."

"Fine." He slid out of the booth and stood. Winry followed suit and appraised their respective heights.

"Well, I'd hardly call you tall, but you're at least taller than me by a few inches, for whatever that's worth."

Edward grinned as if he had won some sort of prize. "Time for shorties to sit down now!"

"Watch it now. You're not too far from that label yourself, mister."

They both returned to their positions in the booth and worked steadily for the next hour. At the end of that time, Winry closed her laptop. "Ed, are you okay? You seem distracted."

"ADHD. I'm always distracted," he dismissed.

"No, like, are you sick or something? You did get more than four hours of sleep this time, right?"

"No comment." Ed's mouth twitched. He mumbled barely loud enough to hear, "Wouldn't have mattered anyway."

"Are you sure? If you're not feeling well, I can drive you over to the health center."

"N-no. That's not it." He exhaled, then slid a napkin across the table. His hands trembled slightly. "Anyway, here's my number. In case you need me to look over a paper. Or whatever. I've got a class soon."

Winry blushed, but tucked the napkin in her laptop. "Thanks, Ed. See you next week?"

"Yeah. Next week."

-----

Winry: This goes with your major, right?

Edward: Blocked

#fma #fma fanfic #503 day #when i wrote it it was probably still 503 day somewhere #edwin #edward elric #winry rockbell #fma sciezska #fma sheska #my writing #my fic #coffee shop au #college au

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thedemisedroyal · 4 years ago

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Dangerous Betrayal | TVD/TO

The Vampire Diaries & The Originals

AU Story

𝐏𝐑𝐄𝐕𝐈𝐎𝐔𝐒 | 𝐍𝐄𝐗𝐓

𝚈𝙾𝚄 𝙰𝚁𝙴 𝙾𝙽 𝙿𝙰𝚁𝚃 𝚂𝙸𝚇!

I do not own the name of Scarlet Witch, nor anything involving her, I just really loved the name, it suits my characters. It belongs to Marvel and everyone on that side, I only own 'Esme' and her plot lines/storylines.

• E S M E •

"The one of all kinds.."

"The one that rules all.."

"The one who is darkness and light combined.."

Voices..that's all the girl heard as she was forced awake, it was nearly three o' clock in the morning, pitch black outside with everyone asked in the Gilbert household. Except for a stumbling Esme who was trying to make her way out the bedroom to call for help, but it was as if her body was controlling it against her will, driving her away.

Instead, she fell atop her desk, dropping books, papers, pens and pencils on the floor, making a lot of noise. She supported herself on the dark wood desk, her hands clenching the sides of the desk. Jordan looked up, the mirror that was attached showed the girl her reflection.

Her eyes were glowing a neon scarlet red, along with the same colored flares dancing around her hands. She tilted her head a bit, confused as to what was happening. It was a moment as if the world around her stopped, a light bulb turning on in her head,"Oh no." The goddess knew exactly what she was, or what Esme was. "Shit, shit, shit..you've got to be kidding me." She ranted, but her anger was swept away and relaxed by immense pain, she yelled in agony.

Her hands clenching even tighter, if possible, on the sides of her wooden desk, the sounds of snapping filled the room. Jordan fell to the ground, holding her head, letting go of the two, rather large, chunks of the desk she broke off from her inhuman strength. Jordan curled into a fetal position, clutching her head, opening her shut eyes, seeing the walls of her room covered int the same red scarlet flares that shined from her eyes and covered her hands.

That was the last thing she saw before she completely knocked out, welcoming the dark abyss.

***

"Esme!" The female voice echoed throughout the dizzy-headed girl, who was still in fetal position on the floor, beside her bed. "Esme! Get your butt down here! You said you would help me get ready for the Founder's Day Party!" The brunettes eyes slowly opened, taking in her surroundings, noticing the bright, shiny sun pouring into her room.

Jordan groaned, holding her head as she slowly lifted herself up from the ground, just sitting on her butt, looking around her room with widened eyes. It was completely wrecked and ruined, her bookshelf was on the floor, the books covering the room all over. Her hanging paintings were on the floor, slightly ripped and scratched. Her mirror on her desk was cracked all over, shards of glass scattering on the floor and desk beside her. Clothes that were perfectly hung in the closet and folded in her drawer, which was on the ground, were thrown into different places all over her room.

She got up from the floor, in complete distraught and shock,"What the fuck happened." Jordan cursed under her breath, walking around her. As she walked towards her curtains, where the sun shined through, her arms had hit the rays of sun, making her skin sizzle from the contact. "Shit!" She yelled, pulling the arm away, grabbing on to it as pain spread through her wound. Jordan looked at it, seeing the bubbling skin, that was literally smoking, heal within three seconds. "Woah." She whispered, she touched the healed wound, confused as to what happened.

Jordan slowly moved her hand to the rays once again, slightly shaking with anticipation. She sucked in a breath was she was once again burned with sunlight. Quickly pulling back, taking a deep breath, already seeing her hand healing. Jordan ran a hand through her hair, clearly frustrated, "Scarlet witch, really! You have to be fucking kidding me!" Jordan exclaimed, kicking her bed that soon flew across the room,"Oh!" She yelled, putting her hands around her mouth.

"Esme!" Elena yelled louder from downstairs, the girls eyes widened. "Sorry, coming!" She yelled back, looking around the room in fear. Jordan shook her head, just grabbing her thin jacket, and walking out the room but remembering to lock it on her way out. She walked down the stairs to see Bonnie and Elena in the kitchen, talking about nail polish, she plastered a smile and put on her act. "Ooh, la la. It looks like someone's getting all dolled up!" Esme spoke, Elena turned around from the sink, rolling her eyes at her sister.

Bonnie chuckled, putting down the two nail polishes she was holding,"Hey squeakers!" Esme stopped walking and glared at the Bennet,"Are you ever going to stop calling me that, branches?" The Gilbert playfully asked, Bonnie smiled but sent a soft glare,"Whenever you stop calling me branches!" Bonnie exclaimed, the two laughed and sent each other a smile.

Elena softly smiled,"You guys are so annoying." The eldest twin rolled her eyes, sitting down on her chair. "Shut it gillies." Bonnie and Esme said in unison, Elena glared at the two,"I thought we decided to forget that situation.." Elena muttered under her breath, the two shook their heads,"Never my dear sister, never." Esme sent a sarcastic smirk her way, sitting down as well.

***

Jordan blew air out of her mouth, annoyed by her current situation. She was expected to got to the Founders Day Party, with Bonnie, as the two were left by their fellow best friends, all alone. The two agreed on being each other's dates to the party, but Jordan had to make an excuse to being late, as if she walked in the sun she would be bacon, literally. She told the others that Jenna didn't want her to leave unless she cleaned her dirty room like she promised for the past week, but haven't done.

Luckily, in her case, her room was already dirty. With her desk broken, glass everywhere, clothes thrown across the room, her drawer on the floor and her bed across the damn room. And not only that but, she, or Esme, was a damn Scarlet Witch, probably the last one in this entire world. What was worse is that Jordan doesn't know how to control her powers, she may be one of the strongest creatures to walk this universe, but it had seem as if her knowledge within controlling her powers had completely left her mind, and she knew why.

The voices were messing with her, mainly Adira and Eila, who absolutely hate the girl. They had so much power of the goddess, and she was completely and utterly powerless. As for the past sixteen years of her new life, she was temporarily stripped of the Firstbeing power she owned. Without any knowledge on how to control it, but, Jordan did know some information about the Scarlet Witches that supposedly all died nearly thousands of years ago.

Unfortunately, with all this thinking, and like usual, the princess was lost in thought and didn't hear anything around her, especially not her door opening. She turned to face the door, seeing a scared Jenna, she furrowed a brow until she felt it. Power...surging through her entire body, she lifted her hands, seeing the scarlet red flares wrapping around them. Jenna suddenly turned around and ran out of the door, before she could scream, Jordan appeared already in front of her, tackling her to the floor.

"Stop!" Jordan forced her down to the ground, holding Jennas wrist, who was still fighting. The two locked eyes, "Stop resisting me and listen?" Jordan exclaimed, and just like that, Jenna stopped, the goddess quirked a brow, "What?" She muttered,"You guys okay over there?" Elena shouted, her eyes widened in fear. "Yeah, stubbed my toe of the table!" The brunette yelled back, wincing a bit.

"Oh, okay." Elena bought the lie, Jordan let out a breath she was holding. She looked back at the aunt, remembering one of the powers these types of witches held were, as vampire, compulsion. Jordan looked Jenna right in the eye, her pulls dilating, "You won't remember this encounter, nothing within this hour. You'll go back downstairs and do whatever it was you were doing beforehand. When someone asks you where I am, you say.."

***

"Your sister is not leaving this house until she is done with that disgusting room of hers." Jenna playfully told, looking at the girl with a small smile, Esme rolled her eyes. "Don't worry, I'll get it finished and I will meet you lovely ladies at the party." Esme reassured her sister, aunt and fellow best friend, sending a sweet smile toward them. They nodded and grabbed their stuff, heading out the door, saying goodbye and heading to the party.

Jordan closed the front door, quickly checking around her surrounding before using her vampire-speed to her room. Closing her bedroom door and locking it, looking around her room to face the horrible mess.

She cleared her throat, putting her hands in front of her face, trying to concentrate. Slowly, the neon red flares surrounding her hands, the same color started to glow from her eyes as well. Without thinking, she shot the balls of power she held within her palm, to the ground.

The red flares covered the floor and made their way to the walls, and finally the ceiling. The power redesigned the room just how it was before. Shards of glass were gone, the bookshelves and the books it held were out nicely back together. Her bed was back in the middle of her room, nicely made, pillows fluffed and all. Even her desk that is usually messy with papers and notebooks, was organized, cleaned of dust, and the fairy lights that were around the mirror even worked again, though they went out months ago and Jordan was lazy to get the replaced Everything was absolutely perfect, maybe a few irks but she would get the hang of it.

Jordan's celebration was short-lived as a massive headache soared through her head, she clenched her eyes shut and supported herself on the wall nearby. "Woah." She rubbed her eyes and forehead to try and soothe the pain. "Really need to work on that." Jordan pushed off of the wall, steadying herself, opening her eyes to once more see the clean room.

She smiled,"Now all we gotta do is find a dress." Jordan whispered to herself, now realizing she didn't have anything to wear to the Founders Day Party. But, the girl had a hour to spare, as the sun was still up, and she couldn't leave, not yet anyways. Jordan ran a hand through her dark chocolate brown hair, "Lets get ready, shall we?" She asked herself out loud, clapping her hands together as her process to get ready had begun.

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kpophours · 5 years ago

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One Love || part III

➵ SF9: Youngbin x fem. reader / series, werewolf AU / fluff

➵ warnings: slight cursing, mentions of alcohol, sexual suggestiveness

➵ word count: 5.1k

previous. | next.

On Tuesday evening, you left work with only a few minutes to spare until your appointment with Youngbin, so you had to hurry to make it on time. This time, the front entrance was illuminated when you arrived and you saw Youngbin shuffling through some papers, broad back turned to you. You quickly parked your car, got out of it and made your way towards the office. It was icily cold this night and you sighed contently when you opened the entrance door and were greeted by a welcoming gush of warm air. Youngbin whirled around upon hearing you enter, immediately beginning to smile, which you softly returned.

"Hi, Youngbin - sorry I'm late.", you greeted him, rubbing your frozen hands together - your gloves hadn't been in any of the last unpacked boxes and you hadn't come around to purchase new ones yet.

Youngbin looked at the clock and then back at you. "It's 7pm sharp.", he said and raised one eyebrow, "So you're actually perfectly punctual."

"Oh. I thought... Well, I've probably made good time driving here, then." You grinned and handed him your car keys, "Sooo, should I just leave and come back later or...?"

"You can wait in here, if you want to - but you can also come with me and learn a few things about your car, if you’d like." At the prospect of spending time with you, Youngbin’s heart began to pound fast against his ribcage and he quickly tried to hide his shaking hands by crossing his arms in front of his chest, unintentionally displaying his well-toned muscles in the process.

Your gaze quickly fluttered from his face to his arms and back again. "I- uh, sure, learning new stuff is always a good idea.", you murmured and blushed, clearing your throat in an attempt at trying not to seem too affected by Youngbin’s body proportions. He in turn tried his best to hide the smirk creeping on his face and gestured towards the door, following you out of the front office and to your car.

"So, this is it.", you said, pointing at the black VW golf.

"It?", Youngbin sounded almost offended, "This is an old lady, not an it!" You laughed, "Oh no, I'm sorry. I haven't had time to come up with a name yet. I will give it one very soon, I promise!"

Youngbin seemed pleased by that. "Good."

You smiled and slid into the passenger's seat while he took the place behind the steering wheel.

"I'm sure Jaeyoon could help you come up with a name. He names almost everything - especially his plants and Rowoon’s endless cooking utensils.", Youngbin told you while starting the motor and driving the old lady into one of the open garages.

"He does? Oh, that’s kinda adorable though! I think I met him just yesterday - handsome with dimples and quite cheeky, right?", you asked without thinking, blushing at Youngbin’s almost scandalized expression. "Cheeky and dimples, yes. But handsome?", he countered, getting out of the car and lifted it up with the help of a hydraulic ramp.

"Well, he is - just not as handsome as you, I guess.", you replied teasingly, basking in his surprised yet pleased expression.

If only you knew how much you had just managed to surprise him with your flirty statement… He actually didn't know how to reply, so he just smirked at you and, after putting on some work gloves, finally had a look at your car.

"Mhm yes, Hwi was right - the steering mechanism isn’t fully working thanks to a rusty wire. But it's nothing major, so no need to worry.", he explained, "See that?"

You quickly joined him under the car, ducking your head out of reflex - even though that wasn't really necessary as even Youngbin could stand at his normal height.

"I just see... wires and stuff.", you confessed, scratching your head and squinted to try and see what he was seeing. Youngbin laughed at your expression. "Well, I guess that's what it looks like for an untrained eye. But see here, there's a loose and rusty wire, right?" You took another step towards the handsome man to get a better look at the underside of your car and his breath caught when he noticed your sudden proximity. "Ahhh yes. Even without glasses I can see that wire!", you finally exclaimed proudly, grinning up at Youngbin. When you realized how close you stood as well, your eyes got even bigger and you hastily took a step back.

"Even without glasses, I'm impressed. Maybe I should hire you as our new helping hand, what do you think?", Youngbin said, trying to lighten the tense atmosphere. You laughed. "I could never do that to Inseong, I'm sure he would be heartbroken if I’d just leave him like that."

Youngbin nodded thoughtfully. "Fair enough."

You took another step back, emerging from underneath the car again. "I think I'll better let you work in peace now.", you said, looking around the garage, "Or can I do anything to help?"

"Not really, but thanks. You can go to the office if you want to - it's a lot warmer inside.", Youngbin suggested, making you pout. "And here I was thinking you liked my company.", you sighed deeply. Youngbin seemed to miss the irony in your voice, as he quickly emerged from under the car as well, looking a bit taken-aback. "Of course I like your company! I just don't want you to get bored or cold." You giggled at his apologetic expression. "I was just joking. But good to hear you like my company." With that, you winked at him and he rolled his eyes, a smile tugging at his lips. "And I thought our chaos line was cheeky...", he muttered, disappearing under the car again.

"I heard that!", you said.

"Good." But his voice was laced with humor and you found yourself smiling again - something you seemed to be doing 24/7 in Youngbin’s presence. If you were being honest... you liked him, even though you had only met him twice so far. But his steady, courteous manner, laced with that quiet, slightly sarcastic and teasing humor was just so attractive in your eyes! It also helped that he was more than easy on the eyes of course - you really wanted to touch his jet black hair, just to find out if it truly felt as soft as it looked. It probably smelled amazing too.

"Okay, keep it easy.", you reminded yourself quietly, but Youngbin seemed to be blessed with perfect hearing: "Keep what easy?"

Your eyes widened and you were scrambling for an explanation. "Uhhh nothing. I was just talking to myself."

"You're rather talking to yourself even though I'm here too?"

There it was again, that humor you already liked so well. "I just don't want to interrupt your quality time with my old lady here.", you replied, crossing your arms in front of the chest and smiling slightly. Youngbin chuckled. "I can divide my attention and time between the two of you." At this, you gasped theatrically. "So you're cheating on me with her? Or on her with me?"

This time, he really laughed. "Friends share, don't they?"

"Pff, not my boyfriend though."

"Ohh, so I'm your boyfriend now?"

Your cheeks were flaming red by now, you were sure of it. "No, you're the old lady one's."

"Oh, really? And here I was, thinking we two could have a future together.", Youngbin continued to tease, making you chuckle.

"Well, who knows how long the old lady's still alive, right?", you say, tone of voice cheeky.

"Oh NO!" Youngbin suddenly shouted, running out from underneath said lady, looking quite shocked. "What, what is going on?!", you asked in a panicked voice, quickly looking towards your car, pretty much expecting it to go up in flames or explode any second now.

"I think that's it... the old lady... she is gone. I can't do anything for her anymore. We should just bury her and continue to live our lives like she surely would have wanted us to - together." He looked, expression serious and grave, only the tiniest glint of mischief in his eyes betrayed his acting.

"Youngbin!" You shoved him playfully, giggling, "You really scared me!"

He laughed as well and shrugged, winking at you. "Sorry, I couldn't help it. But what do you think... Would you like to get dinner with me sometime? I promise, I won't tell the old lady." He held his breath, almost fearfully awaiting your response. A soft smile lit up your face and you immediately nodded in agreement. "I would like that, yes. But only if the old lady approves." Youngbin grinned, turning around to your car. "You're okay with that, right? I mean, I just fixed you, so you kind of owe me something..." He fell silent, pretending to listen to something. When he looked at you again, he nodded. "She's okay with it."

You giggled again - an absolutely endearing sound in Youngbin’s opinion - and nodded too. "Great. So... how about this Saturday?"

He smiled. "I'll pick you up at around 7pm?"

"Well, that just seems to be our time."

He laughed again and nodded. "Apparently. Your old lady is finished, by the way - she's as good as new. Or as new as an old car like her can be." At this, you looked surprised. "Oh wow, that was fast!"

"What can I say? I am very fast.", Youngbin said proudly and you grinned.

"Well, I certainly hope not in every aspect." You wiggled both eyebrows at him and he let out a snort, not having expected your innuendo. "I haven't had any complaints yet.", he replied cheekily and you raised an eyebrow. "That doesn't really have to mean anything."

"Fair enough. I guess you'll just have to find out for yourself, if you want to know the truth."

Your eyes glinted mischievously. "Maybe I will."

Youngbin gulped, trying to ignore the shiver that ran down his spine. Here he was, flirting like crazy with his mate and he was enjoying every second of it. And now he actually had a date with you - only a few days away.

He could hardly wait.

You were invited for dinner at the pack's house for Thursday evening that week - and everyone was highly anticipating to finally meet you. So far, Inseong, Youngbin, Hwiyoung, Rowoon and Jaeyoon had gotten to meet you, and the rest felt slightly left out. Youngbin still hadn't told anyone that you were his mate - it just never seemed to be the right time, and he wanted his pack to meet you without any bias for the first time. He also wanted to see how your date on Saturday would go.

… All in all, he always found different excuses not to tell his brothers. Inseong was also always gushing about you, telling the others what a great mind you possessed and how your many ideas had already improved his own work greatly. Youngbin would never admit it, but this made him incredibly jealous - that the other man could see you, his mate, every day at work. He knew he was being stupid and unreasonable, but he just couldn't help it.

"You do realize that she might not like Korean food at all, right?", Dawon said to Rowoon on Thursday evening, about an hour before you were supposed to arrive, observing the slightly younger man handling several different pans at the same time and looking a bit stressed out. "You do know that a frying pan is an amazing weapon against annoying brothers, right?", Rowoon replied, not even bothering to look at the other man. Dawon pouted. "Hey, I was just trying to help!"

"With what? Unnecessary commentary? I'm sure Y/N will like the food - and now it's too late to make something else anyway. So be quiet and leave me alone." With that, he simply ignored Dawon, even though the slightly older man continued to whine.

"Dawon - out, now.", Inseong immediately ordered the younger man when he entered the kitchen.

"Why?! I didn't do anything!" Dawon pouted even more and crossed his arms in front of his chest.

Inseong just sighed in exasperation. "I know exactly what you did, so don't argue and just go. You and your brothers can set the dinner table."

Mumbling something unintelligible, Dawon finally left the kitchen. "Thanks.", Rowoon said, shooting Inseong a quick look and smile. "No problem - I'm the one who has to thank you for cooking. If I would have had to cook tonight, I probably would have poisoned everyone on accident or something like that." The taller man just snorted while continuing to stir the noodles. "Still, can I help you with anything?", Inseong offered, gazing around at the many pots and pans.

"Nope, I'm almost finished. Y/N said she'll bring dessert, right?", Rowoon answered, tasting some of the soup.

"Yes - cake, I think."

"Good, because I really don’t have the time to prepare something right now."

The older man just nodded and slowly backed out of the kitchen. Better to leave Rowoon alone, he always liked the solidarity while cooking - except for when his mate, Tori, was there. She was always allowed to help and taste everything - but that was the thing about being mates: different rules applied.

You were balancing two giant containers with cake as well as your bag towards the car, desperately trying not to trip over anything. That would be truly fatal as the two cakes you had made earlier this day would probably end up on the ground. You somehow managed to open your passenger's door, softly placing both cakes and your bag onto the seat. Then, you walked around the car, slid into the driver's seat and started your motor without any problems. You tried to follow the directions Inseong had given you earlier that day, but after some time you were pretty sure you were lost. It was already dark and everything looked pretty much the same to you - you had long left the city district, driving on small forest roads as Inseong’s house was located somewhere around here. "Damn it. Where the hell is this stupid road he was talking about?!", you whispered to yourself, tuning down the music a notch. After unsuccessfully driving around for some more minutes, you finally sighed and called your boss/friend. "Y/N? Is everything alright?", Inseong said after picking up the phone. His brothers immediately fell silent when they heard him say your name, all attention on him and the phone call.

"Yep. Or well... not completely. I think I'm lost?", you said, voice a bit wobbly.

Inseong snorted and ruffled his hair in an exasperated manner. "How the hell did you get lost? I gave you the directions!"

"And I tried to follow them! But everything looks the same - there are trees everywhere and small roads and... Well, I have no clue where I am to be honest. Why didn’t you just text me the address, then I could have used my navigation system?!"

"I can do that now.", he proposed, but you just sighed: "My internet connection isn't working that far out into the forest, so my navigation system won't work."

"Well... What am I supposed to do now?"

"I don't know! But I do not want to die so young in the middle of some forest, just because my boss didn't text me his address like every other normal human being living in the 21st century would have done!"

Jaeyoon and Dawon had by now begun to giggle uncontrollably - everyone could hear your words thanks to their wolf hearing, and most had smiles on their faces.

"Okay, okay. We'll figure it out. Do you see anything... I don't know, like a landmark around you?", Inseong asked, beginning to walk up and down the living room and gnawing on his lower lip.

"There are literally only trees around me, Inseong."

"So no landmark."

"I’m going to kill you if I make it out alive."

Chani sniggered. "I already like her very much.", he said quietly to Hwiyoung, who grinned as well. "Oh yeah, same, bro."

Youngbin raised an eyebrow, trying to control his jealousy - they were his brothers and didn't even know you were his mate, but still, he didn't like them talking about you like that. You were his.

… Even though you were really funny.

"Can you send me your location?"

"Do you have Alzheimer’s?! I have already told you, I have no internet connection out here! How the hell am I supposed to send you my location, Mr. Smartass?"

"Fair enough. I think I'll just rally some of the boys to look for you. Just... Don't move? Park the car on the side of the road and wait. We'll come and get you."

"Park the car in the middle of a dark forest, great. That's the perfect setting for a horror movie. If I die, I'll come back as a ghost and haunt you for the rest of your miserable life." And with that, you simply hung up, leaving Inseong to silently gape at his phone, a slightly incredulous smile curving his lip upwards. "Sooo... who wants to go look for her?", he finally said, turning around to his pack.

"I'll go.", Youngbin immediately offered, earning himself some curious glances from his brothers. "Me too.", Rowoon stepped in, Hwiyoung following immediately.

"Good, I'll go, too. The rest of you - stay here and don't do anything stupid. Jaeyoon, Dawon, keep an eye on them, will you?", Inseong pleaded, looking at the chaos line, now the eldest staying behind. Both smiled and nodded while the others protested, persisting they didn’t need any supervision. Inseong just ignored them, shrugging on his winter coat and boots while grabbing his car keys to finally follow the others out of the house and towards the parked cars.

Meanwhile, you sat inside your cozily warm car, playing soft music and cursing your terrible sense of direction yet again. To be honest, you should have just asked Inseong to text you the address - but you’d been so busy with work today that you had simply forgotten to ask him. So now you were waiting in a dark, misty forest, hoping for one of the guys to find you. You closed your eyes, leaning your head back against the seat and quietly began to hum along to the music. You just hoped you didn't have to wait too long - it was definitely a bit scary being alone in an unknown, dark forest.

Youngbin drove his jeep through the dark forest, not worried in the slightest - he knew he would be able to find his mate quickly. That was one of the many benefits of your bond: he knew your scent and always felt some kind of connection, no matter the distance between you two. His brothers wouldn't even have had to come with him - but as they didn't know about you being his mate yet, he hadn't been able to say anything against it. Youngbin turned on some music, feeling for the connection inside him. You weren’t too far away from him, he noticed - you had probably just made one wrong turn, resulting in you getting lost. It only took him a few minutes to pull up beside your car. You were deeply huddled into your padded leather jacket, both eyes were closed and you were singing along to some music, when he hopped out of his jeep and knocked on your window.

You jumped, eyes widening in shock before you recognized him. You immediately opened the car door, almost falling over your own feet in the process of quickly getting out of the driver's seat. "Youngbin! Thank God.", you said, throwing your arms around the taller man without really thinking about it. He stiffened for a second before sliding his arms around your back, hugging you close and chuckling slightly.

"Hey there. You're alright?", he said softly, his brown eyes gazing down at you with slight mischief in them. You quickly freed yourself again and smiled, a tad embarrassed. "Yes, I'm okay. I'm sorry to have driven you out here in the cold, but I really have no clue where I am at the moment."

Youngbin grinned. "You're actually pretty close to our home - I guess you just missed the road and drove onwards. Just follow me with your car, we'll be there in no time."

You nodded, thankful, and slipped back into the driver's seat, starting the motor. Youngbin did so too and soon, you were driving towards the big farmhouse where the pack lived while their alpha quickly informed his brothers that they could abandon their search and come home too.

Everyone was already waiting for you and Youngbin when you opened the front door, the latter balancing both cakes in his arms. "You're alive!", Inseong said sarcastically, enclosing you in his arms and hugging you softly.

"Yeah, no thanks to you though. I would've probably died out there in the cold if Youngbin hadn't showed up and rescued me.", your voice sounded muffled from being pressed against his chest and your boss just chuckled, letting you go and taking you coat. “Yeah, sorry about that. I'll never let you drive anywhere alone ever again."

You rolled your eyes at him before looking at the other men assembled in front of you, beginning to smile a bit shyly. "Uh, hi. I'm sure I've just made an amazing first impression on you guys. I'm Y/N - Inseong’s new scientific assistant. Very competent in our field of research, not so much with directions unfortunately.", you introduced yourself, earning yourself some chuckles and laughter from everyone. Youngbin gazed at you with admiration in his eyes - he simply loved your laid-back sense of humor. Inseong noticed his gaze, raising one eyebrow but refraining from commenting on it - yet.

"Well, if no one wants to go first... I'm Dawon." With that, Dawon stepped forward, shaking your hand and smiling warmly at you. After that, everyone else came forward as well - first Taeyang, then Zuho and lastly Chani. Hwiyoung, Rowoon and Jaeyoon already knew you, so they just smiled, or, in Rowoon’s case, hugged you.

"It's really nice to meet you all. Thanks for inviting me tonight - your house looks amazing, by the way. Very cozy.", you said and smiled at everyone before Inseong shoved everyone into the shared living and dining room while Youngbin quickly followed Rowoon into the kitchen to bring in the food.

When both men entered the dinner room, everyone was talking animatedly - Youngbin took the chance to watch you for a few seconds. You were deep in conversation with Zuho, Jaeyoon and Dawon were screaming and laughing at each other, while the youngest of the pack, Taeyang, Hwiyoung and Chani were getting on Inseong’s nerves, talking about some upcoming university projects they had to do and didn't want to: "But having you, a professor, at our university, as a part of our family, should have some benefits!", Chani complained and pouted, while the other two nodded vigorously.

"Nope. Not happening. It's not even my faculty! And I'm sure as hell not going to ask some colleague to postpone your project, just because you're lazy.", Inseong said strictly, taking a sip of his beer. "Unfair.", Taeyang commented and Hwiyoung looked around until his eyes settled on you, who was just laughing at something Zuho had just said.

"Y/N!", Hwiyoung yelled, making you jumped. You turned around, looking somewhat alarmed.

"Can you put in a good word for us, so our professor gives us more time for our research project?" Hwiyoung looked at you with what he probably thought were cute puppy eyes. You just raised both eyebrows. "Oh, so you guys suck at time management?", you answered, looking slightly amused. Chani pouted even harder: "Not true! We just had a lot to do these past weeks..."

"Really? Tell me about it, come on - entertain me.", you demanded, propping you chin up on one hand and smirking slightly. "Well...", Chani thought hard, gazing helplessly at his brothers, "We... Had to... Do stuff..."

"Well then - learning by burning." And with that, you turned around again and continued your conversation with Zuho, who looked rather amused by your words to the youngest ones.

"She's really perfect for you.", Chani said to Inseong, crossing his arms in front of his chest and looking slightly put-off. "Yep, we sure make a great team.", the oldest man just grinned and toasted towards you, who just smiled at him.

Youngbin watched all this with an uneasy feeling. He knew that Inseong wasn't interested in you - well, at least not in the way he himself was, but it still unsettled him to hear about them being "a great team". He wanted to be a great team with you! You were his mate! The wolf in him wanted to mark you as his and his alone and a snarl was etching its way out of his throat - but he forcefully suppressed it.

"Food!", Rowoon finally yelled over the noise, bringing in the big pot full of Bulgogi, and Youngbin quickly following with bowls of rice. Your eyes glinted at all the delicious looking food. "Wow, that looks and smells amazing, Rowoon!", you complimented the chef, who immediately began to smile, somewhat embarrassed. "As long as it also tastes good...", Dawon murmured, earning himself a smack against the back of his head from the cook. "Rowoon’s food always tastes good.", Taeyang protested, earning himself a smile. Youngbin helped to fill the plates of everyone before sitting down on the only empty chair left - between Dawon and Hwiyoung and directly opposite you.

How was he supposed to concentrate on eating when he just wanted to stare at you all evening?

He sighed inwardly, looking down at the delicious smelling food on his plate. He really had to calm down if he didn't want the others to immediately notice that you were his mate.

He tried hard not to gaze at you all through dinner, beginning to talk to Hwiyoung about some repairs he had to do this week at the shop. He still noticed the stolen glances you threw his way ever so often, and felt the wolf inside him purr at your attention. After the main course had been demolished, you brought in your cakes - they smelled of chocolate, red wine, cinnamon and other spices, and everyone rushed to get the biggest slice.

"Oh God, this is the best cake I've ever had!", Dawon exclaimed happily, speaking around his full mouth. You snorted, chewing silently and smiling while you were gazing around at them all. You truly liked every single one of them already - you couldn’t explain it, but you had a feeling of just... fitting in with them, feeling truly at home and ease. You had also managed to talk with every single one of them so far - well, except for Youngbin who seemed to ignore you, not even looking at you once.

What was going on with him? You’ve had so much fun talking to each other yesterday and he had seemed to be interested in you - or had you read the signs... wrong? You sighed and took a sip of red wine - you only allowed yourself one glass tonight as you still had to drive home later.

You were just laughing at something Jaeyoon was telling you, when you finally felt Youngbin’s gaze on you - you quickly looked up and were proven right, his dark eyes seemed to burn into yours and you swallowed hard, breath hitching. Inseong beside you looked at you in a funny way, so you quickly averted you eyes again, trying to continue to listen to Jaeyoon’s story - even though you still felt the burning gaze of Youngbin on yourself. You could hardly wait for your date this Saturday.

The evening passed way too quickly for everyone's liking and soon, it was time for you to leave - all of you had to work or go to university tomorrow and as it was already way past midnight, you thought it was best to leave.

"You can stay the night!", Dawon whined when he saw you grab your coat, "We have a ton of rooms we don't use! We can stay up for a bit and watch a movie together! Pleeease?" He made huge puppy eyes at you and pouted, making you laugh while you finished wrapping the scarf around your neck. "Another time, I promise. But I'm tired and still have to try to find my way back home - tomorrow's a work day too. Buut... I'm free tomorrow night, if you're up for it?" You raised one eyebrow in a questioning manner.

"YES!"

You giggled at Dawon’s loud yell. "Great. We'll text about the exact time and movies, okay?"

"Perfect - who else wants to join us? I'll make a group chat!", the cheerful man offered enthusiastically, phone already in his hand. Jaeyoon, Rowoon and Zuho immediately agreed to join while the others excused themselves, all having dates with their girlfriends/mates. Inseong and Taeyang had already agreed to go out with some other friends that evening - so only Youngbin was left without any excuse. He quickly agreed to think about it, even though he already knew he was definitely going to join the movie night, just to be around you some more. He just didn't want to seem too eager in front of his pack.

After the plan for tomorrow was finally settled, you were allowed to leave. You smiled one last time at them all, waved and left, the door closing behind you with a loud thump. A few seconds later, the pack heard you start the car and drive off. Inseong turned around to look at his pack. "So?"

"I LOVE HER!", Dawon immediately yelled, Jaeyoon beside him nodding vigorously.

"She's really nice.", Taeyang commented.

"I think it's mean she didn't want to help us with our project.", Chani intercepted, earning himself some glares from his older pack members, "I'm just joking! I like her too."

"Good - I also think she fits right in with us.", Inseong said, smiling in a slightly relieved matter. Youngbin didn't say anything, even though he felt the other man look at him while he said that. He just turned around and excused himself, saying he was tired. He took a quick shower, and, when he entered his room again, heard his phone vibrate on his nightstand.

Yawning and ruffling his wet hair, Youngbin looked at the screen:

Youngbin just grinned at the exchange - he was really looking forward to your movie night.

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woossexyponytail · 5 years ago

Text

Chapter three, The troublemakers

Ateez x reader

Ateez pirate au

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The door slammed open revealing a young man with purple hair, his red dirty shirt open and only two of the last buttons closed showing off his bare chest, a large scar across his stomach.

"Oh! A female.. GUY'S THEIRS A FEMALE ON BOARD. And she is pretty" he said eyeing me, I blushed at him looking down at his boldness.

"Wooyoung shut your trap" Yeosang told him rolling his eyes at him, the guy, Wooyoung smiled at him then laughed loudly.

"Show respect to the lady" Seonghwa said walking in to the cabin smacking Wooyoung on the head. Wooyoung groaned rubbing where he was hit.

"Ok sorry" Wooyoung whined as he slumped his posture and started to pout some others walked in one was amost as tall as Yunho while the other two were taller then Wooyoung but shorter then Yunho.

"Yn, this is Wooyoung, that's San next to him is Jongho and the tall guy is Mingi. Guys this is Yn our new crew member" Yeosang introduced us all.

"Nice to meet you Yn" San said he had black hair that was slicked back with a white strip, he smiled kindly at me as he gently kissed my hand, making me blush a little.

The next up as Mingi as he gave me a crooked Smile and a small wave, he had red hair that pushed to the side, his clothing was like all the others a dirty white shirt and brown trousers and boots.

"Pleasure to meet you gorgeous" Wooyoung said walking up to me and placing his lips to my hand for another gentle kiss like San just did. He looked up with a smirk and winked at me after that but then Yeosang pushed him away.

The last was Jongho but just like Mingi he just smiled and waved at me, maybe the two are shy?. Well either way I'll get to know them soon enough.

"I can't believe you four, you actually did it" Hongjoong said as he was the last to walk through the door, closing behind him as he chuckled shaking his head.

"What you didn't believe in us? I'm hurt captain! You gave us a job and we completed it. Where's the gratitude?" Wooyoung asked faking being hurt as he pouted again.

"Shut it you idiot" Hongjoong said as he sat down on to the desk taking out what looks like a ruby, opening the draw on his desk and getting out the sapphire as he placed them together.

"Now we need to get one more right? Where is it?" Mingi asked his voice was very deep I wasn't really expecting that. Looking over at Hongjoong he placed the two gemstones on the desk and looked up.

"Tortuga, is our last stop until we get to Utopia. It will take about a week to get there" he said as he looked around at all of us they nodded as I just stood there with my arms crossed.

"All hands on deck" Hongjoong said as the crew all ran out, I stayed behind wanting to ask Hongjoong something and not infront of the crew.

"You alright love?" He asked walking up to me as I thought about how to say it, I looked up at him as he smiled down settling my ease.

"How did you know about my father?" I asked, thinking about what Yeosang said earlier, Hongjoong sighed then bit his lip.

"I might of done a bit of research with Yeosang help, but don't worry about it to much love" he said as he walked out of the doors leaving me in the room on my own.

✥---------------†------------------✥

The sea, perfectly calm, was like a peaceful lake, and its soft murmurs were scarcely audible, the waves seemed to sleep, as I saw a line of dark blue marked the curve of the horizon. The flat sea stretched in all directions, the afternoon sun scattering diamonds across it's surface as Seagulls wheeled overhead, carried by the cool ocean breeze.

We have been at sea for about a day now, I sat atop of one of the mast as the calm wind blew through my hair. I heard someone climbing up towards me, looking down I saw San as he sat beside me giving me a smile.

"You okay?" He asked his smile still bright as the sun, I hummed at him as I closed my eyes letting the warm sun gracefully moved around my skin.

"I'm just wondering what would of happened if I didn't follow Hongjoong, And how my father is" I whispered softly to him, San kept quiet for a little while before talking.

"You know my father would describe sailing as flying over water, dancing over the white crested waves, cleaving a path through the wind whipped water.

He would say it was freedom to him, to set sail into the wide blue and leave the duties of the land behind him. He said that the water called to him like a lover and whispered sweet nothings in his ears. He longed to feel the breaking of the waves on his prow as the boat headed out into the drink for a long voyage.

I never understood him, why he would waste away at sea when he had a family that needed him on shore, that is until he died there was nothing on land to keep me there after my mother passed away. So I sailed on any ship that wanted me. And I finally understood what he meant back then"

"What I'm trying to say is, Your father is probably worried about you, but if he leaves you for his own adventure, why can't you?" He said after that he started climbing down but stopped quickly looking up at me.

"It will be night soon, come down in a bit to have dinner with us ok?" He said that bright smile on his face as he climbed back down, leaving me to the peace of the afternoon ocean.

✥---------------†------------------✥

I saw Mingi as he was sat bellow deck a box next to him with a lot if different things placed in the box.

"Mingi, what are you doing?" I asked walking up to him, the young man flinched at the sound of my voice and quickly looked behind him to smile at me.

"Yn! I'm just cleaning the weapons don't want them breaking on us if we get in trouble now can we" he said laughing, I giggled along with him as he patted the chair next to him.

"Come take a seat I'll show you a few things" he said as I sat down next to him and watched what he was doing.

"We fill pots of metal or glass with gunpowder and attached a fuse" he said showing a metal ball it looked like what Hongjoong used in the cell.

"Chain shot they do little damage but slow down enemy ships." He said hold up some chains that are placed in the canons.

"You see, seeing a pirate flag cause lots of fear. This is one of the best examples of the effect that we have on our victims. Our reputation as villains makes our jobs easier as most would rather surrender than fight." I nodded with interest.

We walked back up on deck together as he finished off his talk, Hongjoong then called out to the crew, we all looked over at him.

"We're looking out for Merchants, Boys. Them that's fat with cargo!" Hongjoong yelled to the crew as we got ready to fight, well the crew San grabbed my hand keeping me with him.

"Find us a Schooner with that Spyglass, Wooyoung." Seonghwa yelled up to him as Wooyoung nodded and searched for a ship.

After a few minutes, Wooyoung yelled pointing in the direction of a ship in the distance, Hongjoong sailed the ship over the the merchant boat.

"Fire what Cannons you will, and land a few Strikes if you must. BUT FOR GOD'S SAKE DON'T SINK HER." Hongjoong yelled the last part, I stood watching the crew run in different directions.

"It's no fun fishing Cargo out of the sea. Although it can be done." Hongjoong whispered under his breath but loud enough that San and I could hear.

The merchant ship blew up, I jumped at the sound, San rubbed my back telling me that the crew would all be fine.

The ship got closer to the now stopped merchant ship, San dragged me away so I wouldn't see, but I still heard the whole thing.

"Good day to you sir! I am Captain Kim and this is my Crew. We're sailors like yourselves, but quite unalike in our Purpose. For we intend to take all that you own. Yet no Harm shall befall any Man, so long as they remains at Ease. Is that clear?" I heard Hongjoong say to the other crew.

"Don't kill me, Sir! I have a Family. Please!" A man's voice was heard I looked over at San and he smiled sheepishly at me.

"Tell your friends we're stealing your goods. And we won't hurt nobody if everyone stays as still as a sandbar. You got that?" Hongjoong said, I sighing knowing that they won't hurt anyone.

"Lock 'em in the hold, and take everything that isn't nailed down." Seonghwa said, the sound of footsteps rushing around was heard as the boys came back with stuff in their hands.

✥----------------------------------✥

As night fell the blue haze of day lifted to reveal the stars. The stars shone as sugar spilt over black marble, glistening in the sun. The night sky was such a welcome sight, appearing like magic at each sunset, promising to return as it faded in dawn's first light.

I sat on the fore mast in the calm, this has become one of my favourite things to do, to just watch the calming sea.

"What are you doing up here on you're own?" Wooyoung asked sitting next to me, I have become use to one of the crew sitting with me in silence, maybe to get to know me or to enjoy the silence.

"It's peacefully beautiful" I said looking up at the night sky, the stars hung above us, as if strung in the air by invisible strings. Wooyoung hummed, I felt his eyes on me as I looked over smiling shyly at him.

"So Wooyoung tell me about yourself" I said watching him, Wooyoung's eyes widened then he giggled at me a light blush appearing on his cheeks.

"There's nothing really to say about me. I grew up as an orphan, when I was old enough I ran away and got on a ship" he said shrugging as he looked out to the horizon.

"How did you get in this ship?" I asked still watching him, he was more interesting then the night sky.

"The ship I was on sunk it's how I got this scare, Then the Aurora sailed passed saw me and dragged me on board, been here ever since" he said, his hand rubbing his stomach, I nodded, my focus going back to the sky.

"Come on it's getting late" Wooyoung said as he stood up holding out his hand, I looked at his hand then to his face, he smiled brightly at me as I grabbed his hand as he helped me get up, walking down to the cabins.

Opening the doors Yeosang, Yunho, San, Mingi and Jongho sat in their hammocks, looking up they smiled at us as Wooyoung and I went to our own hammocks.

"One more day at sea then will be in Tortuga, are you excited about it, Yn?" Yeosang asked as he looked over at me.

"How is Tortuga different from the rest of the islands?" I asked laying back watching the guys laugh.

"Tortuga is the city of piracy home to all pirates, a safe haven one might say" San told me, I nodded in understanding.

"Who are we supposed to meet?" I asked, the guys looked at one another with a confused look on their faces, finally looking back at me.

"We don't know" Yunho said as the rest layed down and started drifting off to sleep, I layed there thinking about the person we are supposed to meet.

✥--------------†-------------------✥

I was in the kitchen helping Yunho when he asked me to go and grab some apples for lunch, I nodded making my way to the cargo hold at the bottom of the ship.

As I made my way down the stairs I heard singing, peeking around I saw Jongho stand his back towards me as he sang, there was somthing in his hands that I couldn't see.

I watch him for a while liking how soothing his voice is, he is a very good singer that's for sure. The younger boy turned around and froze seeing me standing there.

"Please don't tell my hyungs that I was breaking apples again" he asked me a sheepish smile on his face as he scratched his head, I smiled walking closer to him.

"I won't tell a soul" I said the boy smiled at me happy to hear that, I grabbed a basket that was to the side and placed some apples in there.

"Our we having apple's for lunch again?" He asked, I nodded my head as he smiled brightly at me.

"Here let me help" he said grabbing the basket from me as we walked to the kitchen, on the way I got to curious and asked about his life.

"Hmm, not much to say. My mother looked after me taught me how to pick pocket, showed me how to live on the streets. She passed away shortly afterwards, one day I pick pocket Hongjoong hyung. Instead of cutting my hands off he asked if I wanted to come aboard his ship as a crew member" he said I nodded as we got to the kitchen.

Opening the door for him Jongho walked in first seeing Yunho busying himself with cooking as Jongho placed the basket down on the table.

"I could teach you, you know. How to pick pocket, if you want" he said smiling, I thought about it for a few moments, it could be useful.

"Sure why not, sounds fun!" I said laughing we both laughed together as Yunho shook his head at us, Hongjoong then came in to the room a smirk on his face.

"What happened to 'I don't steal'?" He asked me, I blushed looking down as Hongjoong laughed patting me on my shoulder.

"We've corrupted you already have we?" Seonghwa asked chuckling to himself as he walked in with Yeosang, who smiled at me.

"Well she is a part of the crew now, she needs to learn somethings about being a pirate" Yeosang said shrugging, the others nodded agreeing.

✥----------------†-----------------✥

I was standing on deck with Jongho as he taught me how to pick pocket, I had successfully pick pocket a ring from Wooyoung who still hasn't noticed.

"Yn, here" Hongjoong said walking up to us as he passed me a sword, I grabbed it looking at it then at Hongjoong wondering why he gave it to me.

"You need to learn how to protect yourself if we get in to a fight" he said Jongho who stood next to me walked off to the side as he watched us.

"Uh can't I carry on hiding with San?" I asked noticing San behind Hongjoong who smiled when I asked that, Mingi shortly join us as well.

"You will but you need to learn, Mingi will teach you, San will watch to make sure you don't die in the process" Hongjoong said as he nodded to Mingi then San as he walked off.

"Die?" I asked looking over at Mingi then to San, I was terrified, they both started to laugh as Yeosang walked up to me.

"Don't worry Mingi won't hurt you" Yeosang said as he rubbed my shoulder, I nodded taking breath as Mingi showed me how to hold a sword probably.

After a few hours I was able to get the basic down, the boy's all cheered me on, wanting to see Mingi fail, after a few more rounds I was finally able to pin Mingi with the sword.

"See I knew you could do it" Yeosang said as the guy's clapped Mingi pouted once he lost but then laughed as he patted me on the back telling me well done.

"Land head!" Wooyoung yelled as we all turned around seeing the huge island that was getting bigger the closer we got, tuns of ship docked, as the island was crowded.

"Yn, Welcome to Tortuga" San said walking up behind me, Mingi next to me as he smiled with excitement, Jongho watched rubbing his hands together, probably thinking about stealing. The whole island looked colourful as I watched in amazement.

#ateez x reader #ateez pirate au #ateez hongjoong #ateez seonghwa #ateez yunho #ateez yeosang #ateez san #ateez mingi #ateez wooyoung #ateez jongho

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clanwarrior-tumbly · 7 years ago

Note

I just thought of something cute. In the Inu!Anti au, like a month or so later, the reader finds a Neko!Marvin who is Anti's brother/littermate. Like, maybe one parent was an Inu and the other a Neko. Just a happy little family reunion with purring and tail wagging. I'll leave it up to you if the other egos show up at some point as siblings too, maybe nekos and inus have litters of kids like animals do or something.

Okie! I adore this idea so much!

Hope you enjoy teh story!

It’s been about a month since Anti winded up on your doorstep.

And since then, he’s been so much happier and energetic as ever. It took you some time to help him recover from the trauma his former, abusive owner put him through.

You had to reteach him that it was okay for him to lay on the couch or on a chair without worrying about getting fur everywhere.

You had to reteach him that he could get excited about things without fearing that he was “stupid” or “annoying” for liking them.

It was a long healing process, but it was well worth it.

He did finally open up to you about other things regarding his past. One of those being that he was actually an offspring of Inu and Neko parents, and that when they passed, he and his Neko brother, “Marvin”, had to go their separate ways.

But he had no clue where he could be now…but wherever he was he hoped he was in a safe place.

Whenever the subject of his brother was brought up, Anti would get emotional to the point of tears, and you felt so bad.

You really wanted to find him now. But the only piece of information the Inu was able to give you was that Marvin loved reading about magic and aspired to become a street magician.

You’d probably have to search all over Brighton for him.

Hopefully he hasn’t gone too far.

……….

One evening, you were on your way home, earbuds in as you carried a small bag from your favorite fast food restaurant in your hand. You picked up something for Anti, too.

You took a different route than you usually did just to avoid the busy crowds of people coming home from work. Sure it was longer but Anti would understand.

Somewhere down the line of buildings, between them you could see a large, soggy cardboard box standing up on its side.

And someone sleeping in it, a torn, black blanket wrapped around him. He had long, greasy dark green hair and some kind of white cat mask on with card suits and whiskers drawn on it with what looked like marker. But there were a few cracks and specs of dirt on it.

Beside him was a cardboard sign that crudely read “Will Perform Card Tricks for Food or $$”.

You frowned slightly, feeling bad for this guy…until you read the sign once more.

‘Card tricks? Does..that mean he performs street magic? Wait…’ You’re hit with realization as you recalled Anti’s words. ‘….is this…could this be his-?’

“O-Oh..hi there…”

Hearing the meek voice, you looked and saw the man waking up, yawning a bit as he set his blanket down, revealing that he was wearing a black hoodie, worn jeans, and fuzzy socks that had a few holes in them.

“..hey,” you smiled softly, sitting down in front of him. “You do card tricks?”

He hummed in reply, taking out a small deck of cards that were tied together with a rubber band. “Been doing them for a few years now. People…like it..although not many are willin’ to get anywhere near…a hobo and a freak like me..”

“Have you eaten at all today?”

He tensed up, blinking in surprise at your words. But then he sighed depressingly. “No. Unfortunately..luck wasn’t on my side today..or yesterday…” He then showed you a small bowl he had, which contained a few pennies and a dime. “But..there’s always tomorrow, I guess.”

You frowned slightly, before you remembered the food in your bag and dug into it, taking out a small box of chicken nuggets you ordered for yourself. “Here. Take this.”

“Wh-Wha…really?” He stammered, eyes wide behind his mask. Instead of taking it, though, he just looked up at you with an expression of guilt. “But..I-I didn’t perform any tricks yet..or-”

“That’s okay,” you told him. “No one deserves to go hungry for that long. You need this more than I do.”

Hesitantly, he took the box from you and opened it, staring at the nuggets like they were diamonds. Then he looked up and smiled shakily at you, tears in his eyes. “Th-Thank you…this..r-really means a lot to me…wh-what’s your name?”

“[Y/n].”

“Thats..a-a nice name.” With a sniffle, he took out a nugget and ate it, savoring the warm and juicy flavor.

You smiled gently and waited until he was finished before you continued. “So..you said before you felt like..a freak. But you seem like a normal guy to me.”

Wiping his mouth with his sleeve, the man set down the box, wrapping his arms around his torso. “Man..that definitely beats living off of gum. But…” He looked back at you. “..I’m..not really what people consider to be “normal”..”

“What do you mean?”

“…..d-do you really wanna know?”

“Yes,” you nodded. “You can tell me or..show me. Either way I’m not gonna leave you. I promise.”

“…alright…” Taking a deep breath, he closed his eyes and pushed his hood back, revealing to you his brown cat ears that had white splotches on them. The tips of them were nicked, as though he had been through some rough fights several times before.

You gasped lightly, realizing that your previous assumption was correct.

“Freaky, right?”

“N-No it’s..not that,” you muttered. “You…wouldn’t happen to be…Marvin, would you?”

Marvin blinked in surprise once more, clearly not expecting that sort of reaction. “I-I..am…” His eyebrows furrowed. “..how..did you know?”

“Well..tell me this,” you shifted closer to him. “Are you related to….an Inu? Because he’s been living with me for a month and he mentioned something about-”

“B-Brother….is..a-alive?”

You nodded. “Yes. He ended up on my doorstep badly hurt, but he’s okay now. You wanna go see him?”

His eyes watered up as he nodded his head eagerly. “M-More than anything..” Hiccuping softly, he lifted his mask up to wipe away the tears that fell down his pale, sunken cheeks.

You could see that his eyes and eyebrows were marred with several scars…probably the reason why he wore the mask even as he slept.

“Then we shall. My house isn’t too far. You might as well ditch all of this stuff, because you won’t be coming back here again.”

“..w-wait..what?” Marvin gawked. “Y-You’re…gonna let me stay with you…a-and brother..?”

“I don’t see why not,” you shrugged. “You two..have been through so much. The least I could do is reunite you guys and give you a safe and warm home to live in.”

For a moment, he was silent as he took in all of your words. Then he gave you a shaky smile, a whimper escaping his lips as fresh tears spilled down his cheeks.

You brought him into a hug, allowing him to rest his head on your shoulder and cry as you rubbed the back of it, stroking his long hair despite the greasiness. He just thanked you repeatedly between his small sobs.

Once he calmed down, you two discarded the cardboard pieces, the blanket, and whatever he didn’t need. Then the two of you made your way out of the alley, heading home as the sun went down.

……….

Meanwhile, inside, Anti was relaxing on the sofa, chewing on a rubber knife toy you got him from the local pet store. He often used it whenever he got nervous or jittery, especially if you get home later than usual.

Like tonight.

The small squeaky sound it made caused his ears to perk and his tail to wag with amusement.

Although it didn’t last long as he looked at the clock and frowned slightly, wondering where you were. Soon enough his glum expression vanished when he heard the door unlock.

Then he turned and saw you entering the house, smiling and shutting the door. “Hey, Anti.”

“Welcome home,” he greeted, standing up to walk over….only to stop and gasp as he saw who was behind you.

“B-Brother..?”

“Brother?”

They both stared at each other once more, before they ran to one another and embraced, shedding tears. The Neko could only purr loudly, too happy to even talk, and the Inu’s tail wagged faster than it ever did in his life, as they held each other close.

After a solid minute, Anti was the first to let go. “Wh-Where have ya been all this time, ya nerd?” He chuckled, ruffling Marvin’s hair.

“T-Trying to survive out on the streets,” he mumbled as they both went to sit on the couch. “It’s been-”

“Hey..ah..sorry to interrupt.”

The pair glanced at you, confused.

“But um..you should get freshened up first, Marvin,” you said. “I’ll go start up a bath for you in a few, okay?”

The Neko nodded in response, smiling at you. “Thanks…[y/n]. Just..th-thank you for everything.”

“Yeah,” Anti nodded as well. “Thank ya for..helpin’ us and lettin’ us stay together.”

You smiled and walked over. They let you sit down between them, and the moment you did they both hugged you tightly.

And you wrapped your arms around them, reassuring them that they were safe and sound under your roof.

#clanask #inu anti #neko marvin #readerinsert

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ghostbustermelanieking · 8 years ago

Text

snow in april chapter 4

deadalive au, casefile

one /// two // three

warning for discussion of death, general eerieness, references to mulder’s abduction. the goosebumps book that anna references is the scarecrow walks at midnight, one of my childhood favorites.

They ended up eating lunch at Haswell’s while they waited for her coworker to show up: sandwiches and soup. Haswell and Scully did that thing girls did where they bonded easily and chatted about things that weren't probable murders - impending motherhood, for example. (Or maybe it wasn't just girls, maybe it was normal people in general.) Haswell asked how far along Scully was, and Scully said, “Eight months,” and Haswell said, “Oh, in the long stretch, huh,” and Scully said, “Seems like it.” Haswell cast a few looks over at Mulder like she was expecting him to comment or confirm fatherhood. Mulder didn't say much, just ate his soup.

The little one, Lyla, slurped her soup and grinned at them through orange-red tomato-stained teeth. She asked a lot of questions about the FBI - namely what it was and if it was cooler than her mom's job. Anna didn't say much of anything either, just shuffled her soup through the spoon grumpily. It was probably one of the more bizarre meals of Mulder's lifetime - and it was, he realized, very likely his future, considering the possibility that Scully didn't get pissed off and kick him out. (The more he fucked up, the more likely it seemed.)

Haswell’s coworker showed up after lunch, letting himself in with his own key. (Mulder wondered if this meant that his and Scully's key-sharing practice was normal.) “Uncle Jeff!” Lyla squealed, running to hug him around the legs.

“Hey, kiddo,” the man said, tousling her hair. “Think your mom and me need to do work stuff right now, okay?”

The kid pouted, slinking off into the living room. Anna followed, offering a brief fist bump to the guy as she went. “Uncle Jeff” came around the table and offered a hug to Haswell. “These your FBI agents, Mari?” he asked, tousling her hair.

He seemed to have an easy repertoire with Haswell, a close relationship, but in the moment it looked kind of one-sided: she shrugged him off and motioned towards the other people in the room. “This is Agent Scully and Agent Mulder,” she said. “The federal agents and witnesses from yesterday… they have some insight on the case.”

“Jeff Renner,” the guy said faux-politely, offering his hand. Mulder and Scully took turns shaking it. “So, y'all gonna explain why I had to pull a bunch of files on heart attacks?” he said like he was joking, grinning at Haswell like Scully and Mulder weren't there.

“Heart failure,” Scully said pointedly, crossing her arms. (Forever a pathologist, Mulder thought.)

“Yeah, right, sure,” Jeff said, uncertain. “So what's the deal, Mar? This seems pretty run-of-the-mill.”

"I'll let them explain it,” said Haswell. “They'll do a better job than I will.”

So they took turns explaining the entire thing to Jeff, who watched them quietly, hand smoothing over his beard. Mulder managed to hold back most of his paranormal suspicions, outside of explaining the X-Files, and let Scully do most of the talking (for once). He thought Scully could convince anyone of anything. Still, by the end of it, Jeff was shaking his head. “Calvert? You gotta be kidding me, Mari,” he said.

“We know virtually nothing about him,” Haswell said, running her fingers through her hair. “And he's the only link between the victims, at least the tourist victims, besides the cause of death.”

“Victims? Mari, this is heart atta- failures, pardon me.” (Scully looked like she wanted to kill him in that moment, and Mulder wouldn’t have blamed her.) “These are not murders!”

“The amount of victims by heart failure is statistically improbable,” Scully started, voice teeming with annoyance, at the same time Mulder said, “Even if some of the deaths can be explained, most cannot, especially when you consider the health of some of the victims.”

“I don't care,” Jeff said, firm. He turned to Mari, his backs to them. “I've known Calvert forever - Mari, we both have. You know he didn't do this, and so do I. No offense,” he added, towards Scully and Mulder, looking briefly over his shoulder, “but just because two big-shot FBI agents come in here and start telling me things doesn't mean I have to listen.”

Scully looked annoyed. Mulder was used to it after all these years but the prickle of irritation never completely went away. “Jeff, you have to see the connection,” Haswell said quietly.

“There is nothing here.” Jeff folded his arms over his chest, as if everything was final. He stalked towards the living room. “I'm gonna go say hi to the girls.” And that was that, it seemed.

Haswell collapsed in her seat, looking defeated. “That,” Mulder said, “is the kind of reaction I expect from most.”

Haswell laughed bitterly. “I'll… I'll figure something out here,” she said. “I am not letting this go uninvestigated. I really think you could be onto something here.”

“We'll head back to the cabin for now,” Scully said. “You have my cell number if you find anything?”

“Yeah.” She had deflated completely like a parade balloon, chin sagging forward on her arms. “Thank you for your help, Agents.”

Lyla sing-songed a goodbye to them from the living room, and Scully smiled tenderly back at her. The smile faded when she saw the snow fluttering down from the gray-cloaked sky. “Shit,” she muttered. “I was really hoping to get out of here tonight.”

Genuinely astonished, Mulder turned to her in amazement. “I thought we were on the cusp of something here,” he said. “I thought we'd stay until it was finished.”

“And I thought that Haswell could handle it from here, or maybe we could send Doggett in.” Scully ignored his hand, extended to help her to the car, and shuffled through the snow on her own. “Mulder, aside from the fact that neither of us are in crime fighting condition… you fit the MO for the victims.” She lowered her voice for the last part as they climbed into the car.

“What do you mean?” Mulder asked, almost scoffing, as he turned the key in the ignition.

“All of the victims had an appointment with Calvert, which indicates that all of the victims had a near death experience,” Scully said. “And, Mulder…”

“Scully, I wasn't near dead, I was dead,” he said, maybe a little harshly.

“Still, it's not far off, Mulder, and it scares me. I'm not entirely sure we can trust Haswell.”

“What makes you think we can't trust Haswell?” Mulder snapped.

“Did you see how she was acting? Mulder, she clearly knows something; she went from ‘these aren't murders’ to ‘Calvert did it’ in all of five minutes! This could easily be a trap.”

Mulder was silent; he didn't have a good retort. Scully was right, Haswell didn't ooze trustworthiness, but she was willing to help them. She'd given them information. Her daughter had suspicions about Calvert. It was a lead, at the very least.

“Just… forget about it.” Scully's small hand brushed his arm. “Please? For now? I'll send Doggett up here as soon as we get back, I promise.”

There were a lot of things Mulder was planning on doing in the back of his mind, but forgetting this case was not one of them. (Scully should know that, he thought, hurt.) But he nodded and Scully seemed satisfied with that.

---

Mari Haswell sat slumped at her kitchen table even after the agents had left. The files lay in front of her like a scattered, dead thing. Now, she thought, the vultures would come to roost. There was no stopping the inevitable.

Jeff came up behind her, his stupid black shoes creaking on the floorboards. The house was ancient, god, she needed to repair it. Every time the girls went down for water in the middle of the night, she got panicked about burglars or worse. And there was worse; she'd seen it.

Jeff’s heavy hand came down on Haswell’s shoulder and she shivered. Normally she liked Jeff; the girls adored him, always had. Today, she wasn't sure. She was never sure of herself when things like this happened.

“You know we can't do this,” he said, quietly. “You should've sent them away, Mari. Bad things are going to happen now; you know that.”

She knew. In the moment, she said nothing; there was nothing to say.

---

Scully headed for the bedroom when they got home, saying something about a nap and how she hoped the goddamn snow would stop by the time she woke up. She didn't indicate whether or not she wanted Mulder to join her, and Mulder didn't push it; he had plans. As soon as she was most likely asleep, he pulled the card from yesterday out of his jacket pocket and called the number.

He'd expected some receptionist, but he got a man with a thick Southern accent who said, “This is Dr. Terrence Calvert,” with a great deal of dignity.

“Dr. Calvert,” Mulder said, leaning against the counter. “This is Fox Mulder, I'm a tourist in the area.” He hoped his resurrection hadn't made the news. It was the type of thing he’d be all over if it popped up in his news feed, if it wasn’t him who’d experienced it. “I know I don't have an appointment, but I heard about your practice and I thought it could… help me.”

“Oh,” Calvert said good-naturedly. “So you've had a recent near death experience, Mr. Mulder?”

He did not want to talk about this. He swallowed hard and said, “Yes.”

“Well, then. I think I can fit you in this afternoon. Does four o'clock work for you?”

“Yes,” Mulder said again, pressing his forehead into the wood of the cabinet. You can do this, he told himself. Justice for the victim, it had always been about getting justice for the victim. If he could get a little bit of justice for the Roberts, he thought he'd be okay.

Calvert sounded happy about the appointment; it could've been because of money or an unavoidable need to help others, or because he was a serial killer who preyed on his patients. Mulder didn't think he was in danger, though, not yet; all of the victims had left their appointments alive. He scribbled a note to Scully saying that he was running to the store and grabbed the keys off the counter, tromping through the snow to the car.

Snow made everything quieter, he'd told his mother once as a kid, and it was still true. The mountaintop was almost silent, white trailing eerily from the sky. The row of scarecrows outside Calvert’s house were dusted with snowflakes when Mulder climbed out of the car. For a second, he thought their blank button eyes were following him, but it seemed too fantastic (even by his standards). It's too Scooby-Doo, he thought. (And then, absurdly enough, he wondered if the kid would like Scooby-Doo.)

Calvert, by all standards, looked pleasant: a homey-looking man with a beard. He motioned Mulder in and offered him a cup of tea. “I'd normally ask for more information before seeing someone, but in cases like these it can be drastic,” he said.

Eagerness noted, thought Mulder. “Right, well, it's appreciated,” he said awkwardly, hands in his pockets. “It's been hard.” Lay it on thick, he instructed himself firmly, even though part of him knew it wasn't a lie. It had been hard.

“Of course. Near death experiences are life changing events, and not always for the positive.” Calvert gestured Mulder towards a couch and sat in a chair across from him. “I get all kinds of patients who have all kinds of things they want to work on. I try to help them all.”

“I'm sure,” Mulder said. “You must get a lot of people… lot of walks of life.” He was reaching, but he hoped Calvert wouldn’t notice.

“Mmm,” Calvert replied mildly. “You could put it that way.”

Mulder tried again: “So, what kinds of people usually come to see you?”

“Oh, all kinds,” Calvert said. “Let's stay focused on you, Fox.”

“It's Mulder,” he said, jaw clenched.

“My apologies, Mulder. It's just that it seems to me like you're stalling, putting off confronting your feelings about this trauma you've been through. And while that's understandable, you also need to face that fear or else you'll never be able to move past it.”

Mulder fidgeted awkwardly on the couch. You're a murderer, he thought, how the hell can you help me?

“We can ease into it, Mulder,” Calvert said comfortingly. “Would you like to start at the beginning?”

No, Mulder thought. “Like… recount my death to you?”

“I think it would help.”

Fuck, he hadn't come up with a cover story and he didn't feel like explaining the whole abduction-alien-virus-buried-for-three-months thing. “I'm in the FBI,” he started uneasily. I will catch you, you fuck. It's a federal crime to mess with me or Scully and you'd better fucking keep that in mind. “Cases can be… dangerous.”

Calvert nodded, scribbling on his pad. “I'm sure.”

“I was… kidnapped,” he added awkwardly. His knee was bouncing. “By a drug ring,” he lied. “They kept me for three months, as leverage. They… tortured me.”

(slice of the blade the smell of blood is overwhelming the other abductees are screaming too)

Calvert’s pen scratched over the paper. “I know that must've been hard, Mr. Mulder. Do you want to talk about it?”

(drills in his teeth on the roof of his mouth and it hurts Scully Scully help)

“No,” Mulder said hoarsely. “It's, uh… it's all a blur, I can't remember.”

(he can hear her calling for him in the desert and he calls back but she can't hear and her voice is fading as she walks away)

“Okay, Mulder, that's fine.” Calvert’s voice was soothing. He'd read somewhere that serial killers voices were usually soothing; he remembered Pfaster and shuddered. “Would you like to talk about your death?”

He couldn't remember his death; it all softened into a rapid blur of senses and then blackness and then Scully saying his name as he struggled to the surface. “They were interrogating me,” he lied. Enough to get information, just enough to stay in the house. “Waterboarding. I… drowned. My partner found me and resuscitated me.” As he said it he could almost see it: some cold, wet warehouse floor, him not breathing, Scully hunched over him in her usual grim, frantic determination that just barely warded off grief, her small hands pumping his chest. If she’d tried to revive him when she'd found him dead in Montana, it hadn't worked. She couldn't save him for the first time. He was just as surprised as she must've been; Scully was always able to save him.

“And when you were dead, what did you see?” Calvert asked.

“Nothing,” said Mulder, shifting again; he couldn't seem to get comfortable. “Nothing I can remember. It's not… like that, that's not the problem. I can't seem to get past the time I spent in captivity. Or my death.” It was like an insurmountable wall, he'd been trying to climb it for days now with no luck. He swallowed, tried to continue. “I've had… flashbacks. To my time as a captive.”

Calvert stopped writing, setting his pen on top of his notepad. “That's very understandable, Mulder. Trauma like that tends to stay with a person.” He folded his hands in his lap. Mulder stared at the callused knuckles and thought about the likelihood that Calvert was a murderer. “Discussing it can sometimes be therapeutic,” he added softly, encouragingly.

---

Mulder talked for the better part of an hour, his voice running on and on like a smooth motor, telling as much of the truth as he could. He caught himself a few times, reminding himself that he was talking to a suspect. Which is why he tried to avoid lingering over Scully, mentioning her as little as possible. But he couldn't stop himself from spilling everything to Calvert; fucked up as it was, the man was right, talking about it seemed to help. He was honestly startled when the end of the appointment came.

Calvert honestly didn't seem very suspicious by the end of the appointment; but then again, maybe he was just trying not to be. Still, he didn't ask about where Mulder was from or who he had up here with him or why he was here. And Mulder didn't offer that information. At the end of the appointment, he did say, “I assume you're staying in the cabins right outside of town?”

Scully, Mulder thought. “No, we're staying with family members.”

“Hmm.” Calvert closed his notepad. “Do you plan on a follow up appointment?”

“Yeah, we'll be probably be here a while unless this snow lets up,” Mulder said easily, trying to make his tense shoulders relax. “This kind of weather normal for April?”

“Normal enough, I suppose,” Calvert said. “I don't get many visitors… do you think the day after next would be a good time for another appointment?”

Mulder shrugged and Calvert jotted it down. He wanted to get out of here, was slightly horrified that he'd talked so much. He draped his jacket over his arm as he stood. “Hey,” he said. Casual, be casual, you've been undercover before goddamnit. “My… aunt told me there'd been recent deaths in the area… two tourists, married couple. You know anything about that?”

“No,” Calvert said, nonchalant. “I'm afraid I don’t.”

“She said it’s pretty normal,” Mulder adding, his voice sharpening slightly. I'm an FBI agent, you fuck; I know you counseled the victims. “Tourist deaths, that is. Town this small, you don't find it unusual? That so many tourists die.”

“I suppose so.” Calvert checked his watch, an escape as unsubtle as Mulder's questions. “If you'll excuse me, Mulder, our hour is up and I'd like to get to dinner.”

“Of course,” Mulder said, trying to be amicable. He stalked out of the room, biting his lip so he wouldn't say more.

The house was about as dark as you'd expect a Hollywood serial killer's house to be. Shadowy fucking hallways. Mulder took a wrong turn at the place where he could go out to the cheery home waiting room Calvert had built into his house. (It even had a damn fish tank, like a dentist's office.) He went further into the house instead, heart thudding as he tried not to make any noise.

Near a staircase was a table with a leather bound book lying open. Mulder drew closer, half holding his breath, and bent over the pulpy pages. Pinned to the top was a picture of the victims. Cara and Kyle Roberts. They were alive and happy; he was kissing her cheek with his arm around her and she was laughing into the camera.

Under the photo was a scrawl of quick information: wife died from accidental electrocution, husband brought her back. From Kansas City, no children. Wife experienced an out of body trip “to the sky”.

He flipped further back in the book, pages thick between his fingers. A picture of the second victim, Layla Tanner, was pinned to the second page: drowned, from Milwaukee, wife back home. Says she talked to God. A picture of the three Youngs in snow suits and ski poles: son was sick and flatlined, paramedics brought him back miraculously. Didn't see anything. From Atlanta. Parents protective, unlikely to leave him alone. The two victims from 1997 - shot, revived by paramedics, saw red light and heard maniacal laughter; flatlined during surgery, heard nothing. The Hendricks - shared near death experience, saw each other in described heaven. All of the victims lay out in this book, a grisly game of show-and-tell. Mulder held his breath.

“Mr. Mulder,” someone said from behind him. He jolted, book tumbling to the ground. Calvert was standing behind him, and he didn't look particularly happy. “Door's that way,” he said, pointing over his shoulder.

“Of… of course,” Mulder said. His heart was still pounding, palms slick with sweat. He brushed past Calvert without word, jaw clenched in some kind of fury. He'd wanted to take the book but he definitely couldn’t get away with that, not with Calvert right there. Next appointment, he thought firmly.

He didn't go back to the cabin, at first; he went to Haswell’s house. He figured she'd be more willing to help than Scully, at the moment. Haswell looked surprised when she opened the door, like she hadn't expected him to come back. “Agent Mulder,” she said with some surprise.

“I went to Calvert’s,” he said in lieu of a greeting. “I made an appointment with him pretending to be a patient.”

Haswell blinked. “That… actually does not surprise me,” she said. “You don't seem like the type of person to give up easily.”

“I’m not giving up on this just because your partner said there’s nothing there,” he said. “No offense.”

She sighed, leaning heavily against the door frame. “Jeff’s a piece of work sometimes,” she said. “Did you find anything?”

“Something along those lines,” Mulder said. “He didn’t seem too suspicious… more interested in my NDE than in my personal information; the only personal thing he asked was where I was staying. I lied and said with family.”

Haswell raised an eyebrow. “Come in, Agent Mulder; you’re letting out all the heat.”

“Just Mulder is fine,” he said, stepping inside. Snow from his shoes shook loose on the carpet. “I found a book in Calvert’s house, though,” he added. “It had the victims in it; the Roberts’ and Layla Tanner and the Youngs… it had information about their deaths and pictures, personal pictures. I wasn’t able to get a good look at it, I don’t know if all of them were in there. I tried to get ahold of it but Calvert caught me.”

“That’s something, but it’s not much,” Haswell said. “It could just be his patient notes; that’s what anyone would say if we went after him with it. We’ll need more evidence.”

“I have another appointment in two days,” Mulder said. “I can look for more evidence then.”

A little head poked around the doorframe to the kitchen. Mulder raised his eyebrows at her. “Lyla, go back and eat your dinner,” Haswell said without turning around, and Lyla scrambled away from the door and across the kitchen floor. “You didn't happen to see Anna on your way in, did you?” she addressed Mulder. “I've called her for dinner five times now.”

“No, sorry,” he said.

She looked annoyed, but went back to the subject at hand. “We need a plan,” she told him. “Some way to definitively prove that Calvert is involved. The first three victims are buried here; do you think you could get Agent Scully to do an exam if they were exhumed?”

He tried not to shudder. “I can try,” he said. “I don’t want anything to happen to her, though. I don’t want to put her in any danger.”

Haswell nodded like she understood. “I’ll make sure she’s protected,” she said. “Nothing will happen to her or the baby.”

He gulped. “Okay,” he said. “Okay, I’ll talk to her, see what she says. I’ll call you again and let you know, but I’ll leave now and let you finish dinner.”

“Thank you,” Haswell said, not without humor. Mulder offered some sort of smile before turning towards the door to leave.

“Agent Mulder?” He turned to face her. Her hand was clenched around the railing. “Have you had an NDE recently?”

“No,” he lied. “Just a lie for Calvert.”

She nodded. “Look, whether Calvert is the killer or not… you should be careful,” she said. “There’s a pattern, and you’ve just inserted yourself into it, FBI agent or not.”

“I’m being careful,” he told her. “I’ve done things like this before… made myself a target.”

“Okay,” said Haswell. “I’m just saying… my husband passed away when Lyla was a baby. I know what it’s like to raise a baby without another parent, and it’s not easy.”

His fingers clenched hard and awkward around the doorknob. “How did you know?” he asked, uncertain.

“I could just tell,” she said. “There was no good explanation of why you and Scully were here together if you weren’t on a case, and you both seemed very protective of each other.”

That’s one way to put it, he thought.

“I’ll be careful,” he said, because there was no other choice. He wasn’t going to die again. He nodded at her before opening the door and leaving the house.

“Hey, FBI guy.” Mulder turned towards the voice and found Anna Haswell standing in the front yard bundled up in a coat. She was staring at him solemnly. “You believe in, like, ghosts and shit, right?”

“Something like that,” Mulder said, amused.

“Okay.” She bunched her mittened hands together, scarf blowing in the wind. “Okay, so you should know about the scarecrows.”

He blinked. “The… scarecrows?” he repeated, casting his eyes down the road towards Calvert’s house, the row of scarecrows on his front fence.

“I know it sounds like that one Goosebumps book, but I swear, it’s true,” Anna said in a frantic whisper. “I’ve seen them move. Walk around and shit.”

“You’ve seen them?” Mulder turned to look back at her, raising his eyebrows in a question.

The girl nodded briskly. “I’d be careful,” she said in a low voice. “If I were you.”

---

It had seemed, at the time, like a good idea to sneak off during Scully’s nap, but his stomach thunked when he realized the repercussions. How bad he must’ve scared her.

It was still snowing when he finally pulled up at the cabin, the white coating everything. Mulder tried not to slip as he went over the stone path and cursed the unusual weather. It was dark inside, and he hoped briefly that Scully was still asleep as the door swung open.

“You went to see Calvert, didn’t you.” It wasn’t a question.

Mulder fumbled for the light switch, turning it on. Scully was sitting on the couch and staring at the darkened TV screen. “Scully…” he started.

“I could’ve given you about twenty reasons as to why that was a bad idea,” she said, still not looking at him. “But who knows if you would’ve listened.”

That was irritating; he took a sharp breath and rounded the couch to face her. “Scully, listen. I lied to him about what happened to me, I told him I was staying with family, and I didn’t tell him you were here with me. I think I’m onto something; I found a book in his house that has pictures and information about the victims in it. Haswell said…”

“If you really wanted to keep investigating this case - which I’ve made clear I think is a bad idea - the least you could’ve done is have the goddamn decency to tell me where you were going,” she hissed, getting to her feet. “You left me a fucking note saying you were going to the store and weren’t back for hours; do you have any idea what finding that note was like? I am your partner, Mulder, and if you insist on digging into this, we need to work together.”

“I didn’t tell you because I knew you wouldn’t like the idea,” he muttered. By the look on her face, he could tell that was the wrong thing to say.

“You’re right, I wouldn’t have, and this is exactly why. You put yourself in danger! You could’ve blacked out on the way over there and crashed the car, for one thing, and more importantly, you practically made yourself a target, if your theory is correct. Mulder, he could’ve poisoned you, you could be dying right now.”

“He didn’t poison me,” Mulder said matter-of-factly. “He couldn’t have, I didn’t touch him or eat or drink anything.”

“You don’t know how he does it; he could have coated the fucking couch you sat on with it.” Scully was tense, hands curling into fists by her side. “And that’s not the goddamn point, Mulder.”

“Well, what is it?” he snapped. “What is the goddamn point, Scully? I’ve been hurt a hundred times before and I’ve still investigated cases! Hell, you were pissed that you couldn’t work in the field after you went into the field! You kept working cases when you were dying, Scully, and I am in perfect health.”

“This is different,” she whispered, furious.

“How? How is it so different? I was worried about you, Scully; I was watching you die every damn day and you wouldn’t slow down! Do you know how many days I was worried were going to be your last? Do you know the cases I let slide by because I didn’t want to put too much strain on you? And god forbid I express my concerns, because the untouchable Dana Scully can’t let anyone take care of her. It doesn’t matter what anyone else is thinking or feeling…”

“This is fucking different,” she shouted. Mulder was momentarily silenced and so she kept going, barreling through him like a freight train. “You watched me die, Mulder? I buried you. I was in love with you, and I buried you. I watched you go into the goddamn ground. I found you cold and stiff in a field and I knew there was nothing I could do to bring you back.”

Mulder swallowed against the building lump in his throat. “Scully…” he tried.

“You want to know what it was like? I found out you’d been abducted about twenty minutes after I found out I was pregnant, and all I could think about is that I had to find you. I ran all over the goddamn country to try and find you. I wouldn’t let them have the X-Files because I thought if I did that they wouldn’t let me find you.” She laughed bitterly, wiping under her eyes. “Doggett was a good partner but he wasn’t exactly… open to the paranormal cases that the X-Files deal with, so I tried to goddamn fill your place and offer up those theories you always come up with. I almost fucking died in the Utah desert because a cult shoved a fucking slug they worshipped up my back. I ended up in the hospital because I thought they’d done something to my baby, that it wasn’t… human.” She swallowed hard. Mulder could feel his hands shaking; he shoved them in his pockets. He wanted to hug her more than ever. “I tried so hard to be you, to fill your empty space, Mulder… and it wasn’t enough. You still died. I couldn’t save you. I buried you and I tried to move on… do you even know how hard that was? Do you know how many nights I spent in your bed? I couldn’t leave your apartment and I fed your goddamn fish and I prayed for a goddamn miracle every night. And I got it.”

He was crying. He realized that in the moment, and he said her name again, softly.

Scully looked down at her shoes. A tear hit the rug. “I can’t expect you to be anything other than yourself,” she mumbled. “God, I wouldn’t want that. But, Mulder… you just got back. And I am not burying you again.”

The words made his stomach clench, made him feel sick. “I know,” he said softly. “But… I have to do this.”

(There was something inside him who wouldn’t let the damn thing go. It was the same thing that had led him to look for his sister for decades, to not give up when Scully had been taken or was dying. He hadn’t given up on Lucy Householder. These people needed help, too.)

Scully didn’t look up, her jaw clenching. “That’s what I thought,” she said fiercely. Mulder swallowed and searched for something comforting to say, but he had nothing. No excuses. “Do you know what the worst part is?” she hissed, angry, fists clenching harder. “It’s the fact that you were dying for goddamn months beforehand and you never said a thing. I’m halfway convinced you don’t give a damn about your life, Mulder, or how it affects the people around you.” She paused, continued shakily: “Maybe you wouldn’t have left if you did.” And then she turned and went into the bedroom, the door snicking shut quietly. It was almost worse than a slam.

Mulder stood in the living room, hands clenched awkwardly in the fabric of his jacket pockets. He stood until he could move without getting sick. He went upstairs and stood under the heavy warm stream of the shower in the other bathroom. When he came downstairs, the door was still closed so he grabbed a quilt and crawled onto the couch. He lay still, trying to forget everything, the fight, but Scully’s words kept coming back to him. He felt like he was falling apart from the inside out.

He fell asleep restless, freezing cold even under the downy quilt.

---

Lyla could see the beam of the flashlight dancing at the space below her door. Usually it meant that Anna was sneaking out, which usually meant that Lyla had to stay in bed and not tell or she would be (in Anna’s words) dead meat. But she didn’t think she cared in that moment. Something was about to happen; she could feel it. It was like electricity in the air.

Lyla slipped out of bed, socked feet sliding across the hardwood floor, and crept to the door. She thought she could sneak up on her sister without making any noise, but the door creaked when she opened it. Anna whirled on her, light shining right in her eyes. “What are you doing, squirt?” she hissed. “Go back to sleep!”

Lyla shook her head firmly, pushing into the hallway. “I’m coming,” she said in a loud whisper. “And you have to let me, or I’ll tell Mom on you.”

“Wanna bet?” Anna snarled.

Lyla raised an eyebrow in challenge and crept towards their mom’s bedroom door.

“Fine, fine, come on,” Anna whispered frantically, putting her hand over the flashlight to muffle the light. “But you have to promise not to scream.”

She made Lyla put on her coat and boots, which was annoying, but Lyla was mostly just happy she was letting her come. Anna opened the door and pulled it open silently before holding a finger to her lips and leaving the house. Lyla followed, nerves tingling with excitement. As soon as they were out on the porch, Anna turned off the flashlight and there was only the moon.

They walked silently up the dirt road, leaving footprints in the snow. Lyla clenched her teeth together so they wouldn’t chatter and looked up at her sister. “Are we going to see the scarecrows?” she whispered.

“Shh!” Anna growled. And then: “Yeah, if we’re lucky. They always walk when someone new comes to town.”

Lyla shivered, looking back up towards the road. They were approaching Calvert’s fence, and it was empty, void of the usual row of scarecrows. “Anna,” she said. “Hey, Anna, it’s empty.”

Anna turned and saw it, sprinted over to the wooden fence. Lyla struggled to keep up with her, too-big boots flopping almost comically. When she got there, Anna was staring at the poles with a look of disgust. “Shit, we missed it,” she said.

“You shouldn’t say shit,” Lyla said sadly, reaching out to touch an empty pole with her cold hand. “Mom’ll get mad.”

“You just said it, squirt,” Anna retorted, kicking at a pile of snow. And then her eyes lit up with interest. “Hey, Ly, look at this.”

Lyla turned, curious, and gasped at what she saw. There were spurts of bright red liquid on the snow, and beside it, unusual marks. Almost what she thought straw might look like if someone pressed it into the snow. “Look,” Anna said, pointing up the road. “They went that way.”

“You’ve really seen them walk?” she whispered.

“Yep. I hide in those bushes, over there; I’ve never let them see me.” She was whispering in terrified excitement. “I don’t know what would happen if they did.”

Lyla stared at the footprints with frightened awe, eyes wide. “Where do they go?”

“I don’t know,” Anna said. “Nowhere good.”

---

He was hanging from a cliff, and Scully had him by the hand. I won’t let go, she whispered.

Scully, the baby, he said. You have to take care of the baby.

I won’t bury you twice, she said, and he could suddenly feel the clots of grave dirt in his throat, choking him, closing him out. He coughed, swinging wildly from Scully’s hand.

Agent Muuuuulder, someone sing-songed below him. He looked down and saw the victims at the bottom, dirt caked in their hair and coating their face. Cara Roberts was looking up at him, her husband holding her hand; she waved at him, a wiggly-fingered greeting. Ready to come down here?

No, he said. I’m gonna be a father.

I won’t let go, Scully said again. Her fingernails dug into his skin; blood ran down his hands. Don’t leave me, please.

I won’t, he said, but someone yanked hard on his ankle. Scully shrieked as he slipped further through her fingers.

You can’t escape this, Cara Roberts said gleefully. You have to come back to the ground.

He was choking on grave dirt; he couldn’t scream. Scully cried out as his hand slipped out of hers and he started to fall.

Mulder jolted away, his cheek pressed into the patterned upholstery. He was breathing hard. Moonlight streamed through the window, drawing a white path along the rug. He sat up, feeling an unavoidable need to see Scully. He wanted to apologize.

He turned and saw the burlap face at the window, nose curving forward like a beak, stitched mouth curved upwards in a grimace.

#xf fanfic #i wrote this

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